Fireworks... A political rant

July 4, 2006

I'm at work. Whee.

I'm trying to get excited over the idea that I'm getting paid twice for working today, but it's hard. Not that I'm overly excited by the day. It should be an exciting time, what with fireworks and barbecues and my father's birthday and everything else.

But no. I've got a case of the blahs.

I think part of it has to do with my general feelings toward this nation of ours. The longer I live, the more I believe the tenant that "individuals are intelligent, PEOPLE are stupid." This couldn't be more prevalent than in the actions of our government. Too much political games, not enough political backbone. Bah.

Why celebrate "freedom" when we don't have it? We're slaves to our own idiocy. Don't think so? Think on this: more people voted for the last American Idol contestants than voted for the last PRESIDENT. Which might explain some things...

I think that's what we should do from now on. Forget this whole primary, caucus, speechifying, mud-slinging, donkey vs elephant crap taking over our TV's every couple years. You want a president? Make a game show!

AMERICAN PRESIDENT!!!!

Three celebrity judges will sit in a panel to decide whether the candidates are worthy of moving forward. These judges will consist of Jerry Fallwell (the far right judge), Pee Wee Herman (the far left judge), and Mr. Blackwell (the fashion judge - hey, who wants a poorly dressed president?).

Competition will consist of platform balancing (which will get the bulk of the money, candidate number 1: education, environment, defense, or your pockets?), strategic international negotiations (candidate number two, which phrase will you use when telling a third world nation that their nuclear testing has you worried: 1) Go ahead, make my day; 2) Can't we all just get along; or 3) I'm telling my daddy!), and pronunciation (contestant number one, pronounce the following word: realtor).

At least it has the potential to garner actual public interest.

So while you're out there shooting off your wonderfully safe fireworks, remember how we got here: Tipper Gore. I don't care what her husband says about the environment, the guy is made of wood. It's in his best interest to save the rain forest: he's saving family!

Ok, that was a low blow. I just have little tolerance for those who wish to legislate their beliefs on the bulk of the populace. That goes for you too, Mr. Bush, you right-wing daddy's boy, barfing on ambassadors, pronouncer of idiocy. Asked any more blind guys to remove their glasses lately?

Why don't we just put Don King up against Catherine Coulter for the big enchiladas, and see who gets shot first...

Myself, I'm for George Carlin for president. He has some great ideas for balancing the budget while taking care of some domestic groups that need... dealt with. Only problem is, George won't run because it'll be a cut in pay. And he doesn't want to be responsible for other people's stupidity.

Why do we perpetuate a government that refuses to represent the PEOPLE? The PEOPLE have said "Get the hell out Iraq" for months now. We're still not out. And what's up with these polls saying Mr. Bush has a 48% approval rating? WHO are these polls talking to? Jerry Fallwell? Pat Buchanan? Oral Roberts? Anybody left of Reagan? I doubt it.

It's a freak show. The whole thing, from beginning to end. There are a few folk out there who honestly want to try and help people, but they are few and far between. And those who aren't corrupted by the position are voted out at the next election.

We need a change, folks. We need to take back our country from the war mongers and the big money dirty deal makers and the professional liars. We need to stand up for our rights before their defined right out of existence.

And it may already be too late.