As the year of our Lord 2006 (miscounted and misconstrued due to human error and arrogance) comes to a bitter end (and none too soon in most opinions...), I find myself pondering rebirth, like all of us white bread infidels do at this time of year. I look back on the previous year and wonder "how on Earth did we manage to survive all of that? And what am I going to do to try and make things better in the future?"
So.... from www.dictionary.com...
res·o·lu·tion /?r?z?'lu??n/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[rez-uh-loo-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4. the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
5. the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.
6. the resulting state.
7. Optics. the act, process, or capability of distinguishing between two separate but adjacent objects or sources of light or between two nearly equal wavelengths. Compare resolving power.
8. a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.
9. Music. a. the progression of a voice part or of the harmony as a whole from a dissonance to a consonance.
b. the tone or chord to which a dissonance is resolved.
10. reduction to a simpler form; conversion.
11. Medicine/Medical. the reduction or disappearance of a swelling or inflammation without suppuration.
12. the degree of sharpness of a computer-generated image as measured by the number of dots per linear inch in a hard-copy printout or the number of pixels across and down on a display screen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Origin: 1350–1400; ME < L resolution- (s. of resolutio), equiv. to resolut(us) resolute + -ion- -ion]
Here are my sparse resolutions for this year, in hopes to gain some resolution to my life...
1) I resolve to begin jogging / running / walking / crawling as of January 1. There is a three-fold goal in this... rediculous... decision. Goal A: I don't care for my profile as it currently jiggles, and the only way I'm going to change that is to change my activity level. This means going from ZERO to something other than zero. Eventually, if I'm consistant, I should go from blob to better. Goal B: I want to run in the Hood-to-Coast relay race this year. I've walked it several times, which bears its own challenges. I want to try running to see if my lungs (and knees) can survive the experience. Death wish, I know. But I like the idea of being involved in something that is a WOLRD RECORD (world's longest relay race - check it out!). Goal C: I want to do an activity that my son and I can enjoy together. He's a runner and I expect he'll be burning up the track in the coming years. I want to get in on the ground floor with him, so we have SOMETHING in common.
2) I resolve to read more this year. This past year, I fiddle farted around and read a bunch of junk (mostly graphic novels). My goal this year is to a) read all the Harry Potter novels (and keep track of all the characters so I can solve some of the mysteries that will be revealed in book 7), b) read the Chronicles of Narnia clear through, c) read my collected works of Ray Bradbury, and c) read more non-fiction style books. I just finished BONO: CONVERSATIONS WITH MICHKA ASSAYAS. It's a facinating read, and I highly recomend it. There are too many books out there I'm interested in reading. I just have to make time to do it.
3) I resolve to blog on a more consistant basis. This once every two months business is going to end. At this point, baring acts of God, wife, or disaster, I intend to put up one blog per week. It may not be of any worth, but at least a paragraph of what's going through my head at the time. So I can feel like I'm doing SOMETHING productive with my time and space here...
4) I resolve to write more this year. I want to "train" for the November novel writing "contest" that my friend Tim exposed me to this year (hey, Tim, I still want to read your novel!). I want to FINISH the novel I started several years ago. I'd gotten so far on it, then dropped it when other things in my life came into focus. I've gotten sidetracked with mind wasting video games (solitare is my nemisis...) and TV shows (although you can't fault me too much for watching Heroes... that show ROCKS!).
I'm sure there is more I want to do... I've got a list around here somewhere... and if/when I find it, I'll put up a part two.
In the meantime, Happy New Year, to one and all, and may the Spirit of Peace invade us all.
Dan
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Scared Citizen
Today is November 8, 2006. The day after, as it were.
In a very vocal display, the country has decided enough is enough as it applies to Republicans running the Senate, and it's a really close call in the House at this time.
This doesn't surprise me, or even bother me all that much. We need a change, I just hope that we haven't shot ourselves in the foot in the long run. Only time will tell... as has already been demonstrated by the Republican party. Or are they changing their name to the Scandal party? Or the Pighead Party?
I digress...
I'm disturbed, nay scared, at the results in our local issues. I woke up this morning to find that my fellow Oregonians are pro-greed, pro-bureaucracy, and pro-stupidity.
The state has spoken and it's citizens have said, "Yes! We want insurance companies using our credit ratings to determine our rates!" Can someone smarter than myself explain to me how credit ratings have ANYTHING to do with insurance rates?!?!
Here's how it breaks down for me personally. I have not had a claim against my driving record in over ten years. The last time I had to file a claim on my car, it was for a hit-and-run accident where my car was parked. I was not even in the vehicle. This was back in summer of 1996. But because the people of Oregon have spoken, my insurance rates are going to go up... because I bought a house this last spring. Meanwhile, some guy who makes a million bucks a month can total his Hummer or Beamer or Infiniti, and his rates are going to stay lower... because he has "good credit."
Is this right? No. Is this just? No. Is this fair? No. Is it stupid? I think it is.
The people of this glorious state have said "No! A parent should not be told that his/her teenage daughter has had or is planning to get an abortion, regardless of the circumstances!"
For the record, I'm not anti-abortion, I'm anti-irresponsibility. I don't think abortions should be doled out like candy whenever a woman wants to have one. I'm not anti-choice, I'm pro-responsibility. When a women engages in sexual activity (with the exception of rape, and I'll get to that in a moment), she has made a choice. If she chooses to have unprotected sex, she has made a choice. Why do we, as a collective people, refuse to take responsibility for the choices we make? I think that if abortion clinics sent the bill to the fathers, you might see less abortions being practiced. A ridiculous, impractical solution, I know, but only because we think in terms of financial impact, not moral responsibility.
Now, if a woman (or girl) is raped or is a victim of incest, I think that's a different matter, because there was no choice on the woman's part. And these right-wing, holier-than-thou conservatives who scream and holler against abortion need to get a clue to the bigger picture. It's not that their anti-abortion. You ask a mother in a church about how her congregation reacts when she tells them that she's had a miscarriage, I'm guessing they're very supportive. "Oh, that's horrible! I'm so sorry for you!" Ask that same mother what her congregation's reaction is if she has an abortion, I'm guessing the reaction is very negative. "You evil woman! You're going to hell, you murdering adulteress!" It doesn't matter what the reason behind it is, to these people abortion FOR ANY REASON is a sin, an abomination, and they want stoning back on the books just for these situations.
So, in Oregon, we had a measure that, if I read it correctly, would have sent notice to parents of teenage girls who were going to get abortions. If I read it correctly, and understood it, this measure was to help the parents be informed about a decision that could drastically effect the life of their daughter. It was to help enable parents to be responsible in the lives of their children. And, of course, we voted it down, because it infringes on the right to privacy of the girl.
Would someone smarter than I please explain, in simple words and phrases (for I am obviously a fool), how a girl under the age of 18 is not allowed by law to drink, is not allowed by law to smoke, is not allowed by law to vote, but is allowed by law to not only get an abortion but keep it a secret from her parents?
Ok, enough ranting on that, because I'm not getting anywhere forward with it.
My final sadness is that the people of Oregon City voted, and they said "No! We don't want to pay an extra $50 a year to keep the library services running!"
Sigh.
In past elections, the citizenry here voted to spend more money fighting mosquitoes than fund the library. Hey! Guess what! If you actually went to your library, and did some research on mosquitoes, you might figure out how to fight them on your own, instead of relying on your local government to do it for you!
In this state, because we have mail-in voting, the library has been a convenient ballot drop-off point. This will be one of the services that will be cut because of budget restrains. I suspect that people didn't take that into consideration.
Something else that just out-and-out pisses me off is that our local government approved and implemented a multi-million dollar "refurbishment" plan that effectively killed business, and put unwanted statuary up in the main traffic zone of town. But they couldn't send funds toward the library to keep it a public service.
I throw up my hands and wail at the wall. The people have spoken. Who am I to baa in a different voice...
In a very vocal display, the country has decided enough is enough as it applies to Republicans running the Senate, and it's a really close call in the House at this time.
This doesn't surprise me, or even bother me all that much. We need a change, I just hope that we haven't shot ourselves in the foot in the long run. Only time will tell... as has already been demonstrated by the Republican party. Or are they changing their name to the Scandal party? Or the Pighead Party?
I digress...
I'm disturbed, nay scared, at the results in our local issues. I woke up this morning to find that my fellow Oregonians are pro-greed, pro-bureaucracy, and pro-stupidity.
The state has spoken and it's citizens have said, "Yes! We want insurance companies using our credit ratings to determine our rates!" Can someone smarter than myself explain to me how credit ratings have ANYTHING to do with insurance rates?!?!
Here's how it breaks down for me personally. I have not had a claim against my driving record in over ten years. The last time I had to file a claim on my car, it was for a hit-and-run accident where my car was parked. I was not even in the vehicle. This was back in summer of 1996. But because the people of Oregon have spoken, my insurance rates are going to go up... because I bought a house this last spring. Meanwhile, some guy who makes a million bucks a month can total his Hummer or Beamer or Infiniti, and his rates are going to stay lower... because he has "good credit."
Is this right? No. Is this just? No. Is this fair? No. Is it stupid? I think it is.
The people of this glorious state have said "No! A parent should not be told that his/her teenage daughter has had or is planning to get an abortion, regardless of the circumstances!"
For the record, I'm not anti-abortion, I'm anti-irresponsibility. I don't think abortions should be doled out like candy whenever a woman wants to have one. I'm not anti-choice, I'm pro-responsibility. When a women engages in sexual activity (with the exception of rape, and I'll get to that in a moment), she has made a choice. If she chooses to have unprotected sex, she has made a choice. Why do we, as a collective people, refuse to take responsibility for the choices we make? I think that if abortion clinics sent the bill to the fathers, you might see less abortions being practiced. A ridiculous, impractical solution, I know, but only because we think in terms of financial impact, not moral responsibility.
Now, if a woman (or girl) is raped or is a victim of incest, I think that's a different matter, because there was no choice on the woman's part. And these right-wing, holier-than-thou conservatives who scream and holler against abortion need to get a clue to the bigger picture. It's not that their anti-abortion. You ask a mother in a church about how her congregation reacts when she tells them that she's had a miscarriage, I'm guessing they're very supportive. "Oh, that's horrible! I'm so sorry for you!" Ask that same mother what her congregation's reaction is if she has an abortion, I'm guessing the reaction is very negative. "You evil woman! You're going to hell, you murdering adulteress!" It doesn't matter what the reason behind it is, to these people abortion FOR ANY REASON is a sin, an abomination, and they want stoning back on the books just for these situations.
So, in Oregon, we had a measure that, if I read it correctly, would have sent notice to parents of teenage girls who were going to get abortions. If I read it correctly, and understood it, this measure was to help the parents be informed about a decision that could drastically effect the life of their daughter. It was to help enable parents to be responsible in the lives of their children. And, of course, we voted it down, because it infringes on the right to privacy of the girl.
Would someone smarter than I please explain, in simple words and phrases (for I am obviously a fool), how a girl under the age of 18 is not allowed by law to drink, is not allowed by law to smoke, is not allowed by law to vote, but is allowed by law to not only get an abortion but keep it a secret from her parents?
Ok, enough ranting on that, because I'm not getting anywhere forward with it.
My final sadness is that the people of Oregon City voted, and they said "No! We don't want to pay an extra $50 a year to keep the library services running!"
Sigh.
In past elections, the citizenry here voted to spend more money fighting mosquitoes than fund the library. Hey! Guess what! If you actually went to your library, and did some research on mosquitoes, you might figure out how to fight them on your own, instead of relying on your local government to do it for you!
In this state, because we have mail-in voting, the library has been a convenient ballot drop-off point. This will be one of the services that will be cut because of budget restrains. I suspect that people didn't take that into consideration.
Something else that just out-and-out pisses me off is that our local government approved and implemented a multi-million dollar "refurbishment" plan that effectively killed business, and put unwanted statuary up in the main traffic zone of town. But they couldn't send funds toward the library to keep it a public service.
I throw up my hands and wail at the wall. The people have spoken. Who am I to baa in a different voice...
Monday, July 24, 2006
Schlock and Ahh Hits the Airwaves
As some of you know, I'm a music nut. Specifically, I'm an 80's nut. So when VH1 throws out shows like THE 100 TOP ONE-HIT-WONDERS of ALL TIME... you can guess where my hindquarters are parked.
Now, for the most part, I couldn't argue with the selections that made the list. Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me. Nena's 99 Luftballons. Kajagoogoo's Too Shy. Aha's Take On Me. Absolutely! No question! Not a doubt! Great songs!
So you can imagine my dismay, nay, abject horror, that the NUMBER ONE GREATEST ONE-HIT WONDER OF ALL TIME IS....
...
...
...
THE MACARANA?!!?!?!?
....
somebody just shoot me, ok, because the world has gone friggin' mad.
I take my music pretty seriously, in that music is more than just a past time or fleeting enjoyment. It means a great deal to me. It moves me and expands me and shapes me and enlightens me. So for that song to be the number one on a list that should be almost exclusively 80's tunes... it's painful.
Then again, some wit in the local 80's radio station (back when I listened to the radio), stated (and I quote) "The Cars were the greatest band EVER in the 80's."
...
would somebody just shoot me, please, because some visitor from Hempville has taken over my 80's station.
ARE YOU HIGH?!?!?!?
THE CARS?!?!?!
What twisted parallel universe did you just get forcibly exiled from to think THE CARS were the greatest band of the 80's? Good God in Heaven, I could come up with 10 bands that I DON'T like that are better than the Cars!!!
Having made the statement, I wanna know: Who do you think were the top 10 bands of the 80's? How about the top 10 solo artists?
Post some bulletins, spread the word: THE CARS ARE NOT THE BEST BAND OF THE 80'S!
... they had some good songs, but best band...? They're high...
Now, for the most part, I couldn't argue with the selections that made the list. Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me. Nena's 99 Luftballons. Kajagoogoo's Too Shy. Aha's Take On Me. Absolutely! No question! Not a doubt! Great songs!
So you can imagine my dismay, nay, abject horror, that the NUMBER ONE GREATEST ONE-HIT WONDER OF ALL TIME IS....
...
...
...
THE MACARANA?!!?!?!?
....
somebody just shoot me, ok, because the world has gone friggin' mad.
I take my music pretty seriously, in that music is more than just a past time or fleeting enjoyment. It means a great deal to me. It moves me and expands me and shapes me and enlightens me. So for that song to be the number one on a list that should be almost exclusively 80's tunes... it's painful.
Then again, some wit in the local 80's radio station (back when I listened to the radio), stated (and I quote) "The Cars were the greatest band EVER in the 80's."
...
would somebody just shoot me, please, because some visitor from Hempville has taken over my 80's station.
ARE YOU HIGH?!?!?!?
THE CARS?!?!?!
What twisted parallel universe did you just get forcibly exiled from to think THE CARS were the greatest band of the 80's? Good God in Heaven, I could come up with 10 bands that I DON'T like that are better than the Cars!!!
Having made the statement, I wanna know: Who do you think were the top 10 bands of the 80's? How about the top 10 solo artists?
Post some bulletins, spread the word: THE CARS ARE NOT THE BEST BAND OF THE 80'S!
... they had some good songs, but best band...? They're high...
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Fireworks... A political rant
July 4, 2006
I'm at work. Whee.
I'm trying to get excited over the idea that I'm getting paid twice for working today, but it's hard. Not that I'm overly excited by the day. It should be an exciting time, what with fireworks and barbecues and my father's birthday and everything else.
But no. I've got a case of the blahs.
I think part of it has to do with my general feelings toward this nation of ours. The longer I live, the more I believe the tenant that "individuals are intelligent, PEOPLE are stupid." This couldn't be more prevalent than in the actions of our government. Too much political games, not enough political backbone. Bah.
Why celebrate "freedom" when we don't have it? We're slaves to our own idiocy. Don't think so? Think on this: more people voted for the last American Idol contestants than voted for the last PRESIDENT. Which might explain some things...
I think that's what we should do from now on. Forget this whole primary, caucus, speechifying, mud-slinging, donkey vs elephant crap taking over our TV's every couple years. You want a president? Make a game show!
AMERICAN PRESIDENT!!!!
Three celebrity judges will sit in a panel to decide whether the candidates are worthy of moving forward. These judges will consist of Jerry Fallwell (the far right judge), Pee Wee Herman (the far left judge), and Mr. Blackwell (the fashion judge - hey, who wants a poorly dressed president?).
Competition will consist of platform balancing (which will get the bulk of the money, candidate number 1: education, environment, defense, or your pockets?), strategic international negotiations (candidate number two, which phrase will you use when telling a third world nation that their nuclear testing has you worried: 1) Go ahead, make my day; 2) Can't we all just get along; or 3) I'm telling my daddy!), and pronunciation (contestant number one, pronounce the following word: realtor).
At least it has the potential to garner actual public interest.
So while you're out there shooting off your wonderfully safe fireworks, remember how we got here: Tipper Gore. I don't care what her husband says about the environment, the guy is made of wood. It's in his best interest to save the rain forest: he's saving family!
Ok, that was a low blow. I just have little tolerance for those who wish to legislate their beliefs on the bulk of the populace. That goes for you too, Mr. Bush, you right-wing daddy's boy, barfing on ambassadors, pronouncer of idiocy. Asked any more blind guys to remove their glasses lately?
Why don't we just put Don King up against Catherine Coulter for the big enchiladas, and see who gets shot first...
Myself, I'm for George Carlin for president. He has some great ideas for balancing the budget while taking care of some domestic groups that need... dealt with. Only problem is, George won't run because it'll be a cut in pay. And he doesn't want to be responsible for other people's stupidity.
Why do we perpetuate a government that refuses to represent the PEOPLE? The PEOPLE have said "Get the hell out Iraq" for months now. We're still not out. And what's up with these polls saying Mr. Bush has a 48% approval rating? WHO are these polls talking to? Jerry Fallwell? Pat Buchanan? Oral Roberts? Anybody left of Reagan? I doubt it.
It's a freak show. The whole thing, from beginning to end. There are a few folk out there who honestly want to try and help people, but they are few and far between. And those who aren't corrupted by the position are voted out at the next election.
We need a change, folks. We need to take back our country from the war mongers and the big money dirty deal makers and the professional liars. We need to stand up for our rights before their defined right out of existence.
And it may already be too late.
I'm at work. Whee.
I'm trying to get excited over the idea that I'm getting paid twice for working today, but it's hard. Not that I'm overly excited by the day. It should be an exciting time, what with fireworks and barbecues and my father's birthday and everything else.
But no. I've got a case of the blahs.
I think part of it has to do with my general feelings toward this nation of ours. The longer I live, the more I believe the tenant that "individuals are intelligent, PEOPLE are stupid." This couldn't be more prevalent than in the actions of our government. Too much political games, not enough political backbone. Bah.
Why celebrate "freedom" when we don't have it? We're slaves to our own idiocy. Don't think so? Think on this: more people voted for the last American Idol contestants than voted for the last PRESIDENT. Which might explain some things...
I think that's what we should do from now on. Forget this whole primary, caucus, speechifying, mud-slinging, donkey vs elephant crap taking over our TV's every couple years. You want a president? Make a game show!
AMERICAN PRESIDENT!!!!
Three celebrity judges will sit in a panel to decide whether the candidates are worthy of moving forward. These judges will consist of Jerry Fallwell (the far right judge), Pee Wee Herman (the far left judge), and Mr. Blackwell (the fashion judge - hey, who wants a poorly dressed president?).
Competition will consist of platform balancing (which will get the bulk of the money, candidate number 1: education, environment, defense, or your pockets?), strategic international negotiations (candidate number two, which phrase will you use when telling a third world nation that their nuclear testing has you worried: 1) Go ahead, make my day; 2) Can't we all just get along; or 3) I'm telling my daddy!), and pronunciation (contestant number one, pronounce the following word: realtor).
At least it has the potential to garner actual public interest.
So while you're out there shooting off your wonderfully safe fireworks, remember how we got here: Tipper Gore. I don't care what her husband says about the environment, the guy is made of wood. It's in his best interest to save the rain forest: he's saving family!
Ok, that was a low blow. I just have little tolerance for those who wish to legislate their beliefs on the bulk of the populace. That goes for you too, Mr. Bush, you right-wing daddy's boy, barfing on ambassadors, pronouncer of idiocy. Asked any more blind guys to remove their glasses lately?
Why don't we just put Don King up against Catherine Coulter for the big enchiladas, and see who gets shot first...
Myself, I'm for George Carlin for president. He has some great ideas for balancing the budget while taking care of some domestic groups that need... dealt with. Only problem is, George won't run because it'll be a cut in pay. And he doesn't want to be responsible for other people's stupidity.
Why do we perpetuate a government that refuses to represent the PEOPLE? The PEOPLE have said "Get the hell out Iraq" for months now. We're still not out. And what's up with these polls saying Mr. Bush has a 48% approval rating? WHO are these polls talking to? Jerry Fallwell? Pat Buchanan? Oral Roberts? Anybody left of Reagan? I doubt it.
It's a freak show. The whole thing, from beginning to end. There are a few folk out there who honestly want to try and help people, but they are few and far between. And those who aren't corrupted by the position are voted out at the next election.
We need a change, folks. We need to take back our country from the war mongers and the big money dirty deal makers and the professional liars. We need to stand up for our rights before their defined right out of existence.
And it may already be too late.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Talent?
Ok, I have to admit it... I'm becoming a talent show junkie. I now have two shows on my regular viewing schedule, LAST COMIC STANDING and AMERICA'S GOT TALENT.
LCS is in it's fourth season and they've appeared to have changed the format so that it's a much more "fair" system. Previous seasons, they had celebrity judges who thought they were making actual decisions as regards the competing comics. In actuality, a committee of tv executives were making the decisions regarding who would stay and who would go. This pissed off the celebrity judges. Trust me, you do not want to see Brett Butler and Drew Carey angry. You would not like them when they're angry. For more info on last years fiasco, go here:
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4483013/
This season, celebrity judges decide who makes the competing cut. All decisions thereafter are made by the audience. This is a good way to go, because it means that the audience, the people who will pay money to see these comics, are making the decisions on who they would be willing to see.
And so far... the decisions, by and large, have been the same ones I would have made. People made it that should have, people were cut that should have. There were a few surprises, but everybody's taste is different and I can accept that.
If you have not seen the show, it's on Tuesday nights, 9 pm (PST), NBC. Watch for stand outs Josh Blue (who, incidentally, has cerebral palsy), Gabriel Iglesias, and Roz. These are the ones I'm hoping will survive through to the final round. And they've got this "Bring 'Em Back" concept online. The internet audience can vote to bring back one of the comics that got cut initially.
The real surprise was watching AMERICA'S GOT TALENT (again, NBC, Wednesday nights, 9 PM PST). It's a Simon Cowell creation and it's really obvious he's had his fingers in this particular pie, but that doesn't sour the show... much. The concept is simple: bring your talent, whatever it is, perform before three celebrity judges, and hope you move on in the competition for a $1 Million prize.
The judges are Piers Morgan, the former editor of the London Daily Mirror; singing sensation Brandy; and Michael Knight... er... David Hasselhoff. The gimick is that these three have no clue as to what they'll be seeing next. It's part Gong Show, part Star Search. LITERALLY.
The acts are wide and wild. Competing on the premier were singers, dancers, a snap artist (the guy snaps his fingers to music - it's pretty wild), the world's oldest male stripper (yes, I said STRIPPER - and, omg, he moved on to the second round!), a rapping granny, a magician, a ventrilaquist, animal acts, and, oh yes, jugglers.
This is where it gets weird. The show is called AMERICA'S GOT TALENT. But it became really obvious that certain acts were less than acceptable. Trained dogs were ok, but trained birds were not. An eight year old stand-up comic was acceptable, but a ballon artist was not. And jugglers... oh my... Hasselhoff went OFF on jugglers. Although three of them moved on to the next round (I think, it got confusing).
To see what I'm blogging about, check this out:
http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/index.shtml#main
I'll continue on watching this, if only because I love variety shows. But it will be interesting to see what moves forward. And when all is said and done, I'm almost willing to bet money that the final winner will be a singer or band. And that it won't be a juggler.
LCS is in it's fourth season and they've appeared to have changed the format so that it's a much more "fair" system. Previous seasons, they had celebrity judges who thought they were making actual decisions as regards the competing comics. In actuality, a committee of tv executives were making the decisions regarding who would stay and who would go. This pissed off the celebrity judges. Trust me, you do not want to see Brett Butler and Drew Carey angry. You would not like them when they're angry. For more info on last years fiasco, go here:
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4483013/
This season, celebrity judges decide who makes the competing cut. All decisions thereafter are made by the audience. This is a good way to go, because it means that the audience, the people who will pay money to see these comics, are making the decisions on who they would be willing to see.
And so far... the decisions, by and large, have been the same ones I would have made. People made it that should have, people were cut that should have. There were a few surprises, but everybody's taste is different and I can accept that.
If you have not seen the show, it's on Tuesday nights, 9 pm (PST), NBC. Watch for stand outs Josh Blue (who, incidentally, has cerebral palsy), Gabriel Iglesias, and Roz. These are the ones I'm hoping will survive through to the final round. And they've got this "Bring 'Em Back" concept online. The internet audience can vote to bring back one of the comics that got cut initially.
The real surprise was watching AMERICA'S GOT TALENT (again, NBC, Wednesday nights, 9 PM PST). It's a Simon Cowell creation and it's really obvious he's had his fingers in this particular pie, but that doesn't sour the show... much. The concept is simple: bring your talent, whatever it is, perform before three celebrity judges, and hope you move on in the competition for a $1 Million prize.
The judges are Piers Morgan, the former editor of the London Daily Mirror; singing sensation Brandy; and Michael Knight... er... David Hasselhoff. The gimick is that these three have no clue as to what they'll be seeing next. It's part Gong Show, part Star Search. LITERALLY.
The acts are wide and wild. Competing on the premier were singers, dancers, a snap artist (the guy snaps his fingers to music - it's pretty wild), the world's oldest male stripper (yes, I said STRIPPER - and, omg, he moved on to the second round!), a rapping granny, a magician, a ventrilaquist, animal acts, and, oh yes, jugglers.
This is where it gets weird. The show is called AMERICA'S GOT TALENT. But it became really obvious that certain acts were less than acceptable. Trained dogs were ok, but trained birds were not. An eight year old stand-up comic was acceptable, but a ballon artist was not. And jugglers... oh my... Hasselhoff went OFF on jugglers. Although three of them moved on to the next round (I think, it got confusing).
To see what I'm blogging about, check this out:
http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/index.shtml#main
I'll continue on watching this, if only because I love variety shows. But it will be interesting to see what moves forward. And when all is said and done, I'm almost willing to bet money that the final winner will be a singer or band. And that it won't be a juggler.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Sample Plate or How Turntablism is Driving Me Mad!
BASS! HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?
That line is stuck in my head. Anyone know where it's from?
I'll tell you...
The Album: "It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back."
The Song: "Bring the Noise"
The Artist: Public Enemy
I tell you that to tell you this: it's used somewhere else. The line.
I just don't remember where.
And THAT is driving me crazy.
I've gone on before about how obsessive I get about music. I love music. Every aspect of it. The rhythms, the melodies, the harmonies, the counterpoints. And in this day and age there's even more to it, especially if you listen to rap or techno.
Rap USED to be about a guy talking and a guy laying down some rhythm patterns with a keyboard (typically Casio, cause they're cheap) and/or a turntable via scratching (the term these days is turntablism and it's become one of the fastest growing musical instruments in this day and age). Now, a good DJ (turntablist) will sample bits and pieces of records to produce a desired effect: a rhythm pattern, a string of dialog... Really good DJ's are wizards when it comes to cutting and pasting together samples (my personal favorite is DJ Jazzy Jeff, see HE'S THE DJ, I'M THE RAPPER for examples of his expertise). What makes turntablism fun (for those who tolerate/like it in the first place) is trying to figure out where the samples come from originally.
Now I'm sure there HAS to be a web site out there that could be my roadmap to hunting up some of this stuff, but just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about...
Song: Flip Fantasia (Cantaloop) by Us3
The bulk of this song is a sample of Cantaloupe Island by Herbie Hancock. Us3 took the song, sped it up, put some live drums over it, funked it up some, and rapped over it all. It kicks major musical butt (even my wife who LOATHES rap likes this song).
Song: Pop Goes the Weasel by 3rd Bass
Depending upon which version you get ahold of, it has a couple different samples. The one's I noticed were Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel. The other is something I've yet to identify by name, but is performed by Stevie Wonder. (I originally thought it was Superstition, but that's wrong.)
Where it really get's tricky is when rap artists sample other rap artists. Or other rap artist's samples... here's an example: again, Public Enemy, song is "Caught, Can We Get a Witness?" They sample a tune by Bomb the Bass called "Beat Dis." What I don't know is this: is the rhythm guitar sound they use original to Bomb the Bass, or did Bomb the Bass sample it from somewhere else, and PE thought it was cool and used it on their album?
Maybe I'm making more out of this than is necessary, but then again, I warned you: I'm obsessive about this stuff.
More examples:
Tone Loc's "Wild Thang" samples Van Halen's "Jamies Crying"
DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's "Girls are Nothing but Trouble" samples the theme from "I Dream of Jeannie." (there's a DUH!)
And of course, the sample everybody knows (and either loves or hates): MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" is blatently sampling Rick James "Superfreak."
At least Hammer admitted what he did. Unlike Vanilla Ice and his infamous sample on "Ice Ice Baby" of Queens "Under Pressure."
So... Anyone out there know of some more samples, or know of a site that explains where they come from? Let me know.
Please...
That line is stuck in my head. Anyone know where it's from?
I'll tell you...
The Album: "It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back."
The Song: "Bring the Noise"
The Artist: Public Enemy
I tell you that to tell you this: it's used somewhere else. The line.
I just don't remember where.
And THAT is driving me crazy.
I've gone on before about how obsessive I get about music. I love music. Every aspect of it. The rhythms, the melodies, the harmonies, the counterpoints. And in this day and age there's even more to it, especially if you listen to rap or techno.
Rap USED to be about a guy talking and a guy laying down some rhythm patterns with a keyboard (typically Casio, cause they're cheap) and/or a turntable via scratching (the term these days is turntablism and it's become one of the fastest growing musical instruments in this day and age). Now, a good DJ (turntablist) will sample bits and pieces of records to produce a desired effect: a rhythm pattern, a string of dialog... Really good DJ's are wizards when it comes to cutting and pasting together samples (my personal favorite is DJ Jazzy Jeff, see HE'S THE DJ, I'M THE RAPPER for examples of his expertise). What makes turntablism fun (for those who tolerate/like it in the first place) is trying to figure out where the samples come from originally.
Now I'm sure there HAS to be a web site out there that could be my roadmap to hunting up some of this stuff, but just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about...
Song: Flip Fantasia (Cantaloop) by Us3
The bulk of this song is a sample of Cantaloupe Island by Herbie Hancock. Us3 took the song, sped it up, put some live drums over it, funked it up some, and rapped over it all. It kicks major musical butt (even my wife who LOATHES rap likes this song).
Song: Pop Goes the Weasel by 3rd Bass
Depending upon which version you get ahold of, it has a couple different samples. The one's I noticed were Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel. The other is something I've yet to identify by name, but is performed by Stevie Wonder. (I originally thought it was Superstition, but that's wrong.)
Where it really get's tricky is when rap artists sample other rap artists. Or other rap artist's samples... here's an example: again, Public Enemy, song is "Caught, Can We Get a Witness?" They sample a tune by Bomb the Bass called "Beat Dis." What I don't know is this: is the rhythm guitar sound they use original to Bomb the Bass, or did Bomb the Bass sample it from somewhere else, and PE thought it was cool and used it on their album?
Maybe I'm making more out of this than is necessary, but then again, I warned you: I'm obsessive about this stuff.
More examples:
Tone Loc's "Wild Thang" samples Van Halen's "Jamies Crying"
DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's "Girls are Nothing but Trouble" samples the theme from "I Dream of Jeannie." (there's a DUH!)
And of course, the sample everybody knows (and either loves or hates): MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" is blatently sampling Rick James "Superfreak."
At least Hammer admitted what he did. Unlike Vanilla Ice and his infamous sample on "Ice Ice Baby" of Queens "Under Pressure."
So... Anyone out there know of some more samples, or know of a site that explains where they come from? Let me know.
Please...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
The Art of Aging or How Doth the Timepiece Spin
I'm staring at the calendar. It says it's Thursday, June 8th, 2006. This means that today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary.
Let me repeat that: it's my FIFTEENTH wedding anniversary.
I'd say it again, but the horse is long past dead.
How is it that I've been married fifteen years already? I just met this girl at a speech tournament, what? Half an hour ago? She's so cool! She did this piece called "The .38" and in it this girl is assaulted and dragged down stairs and shot and it's really sick and really scary but she did it SO COOL! Yeah, I'm a sick twist but she doesn't know that yet. She'll probably find out tomorrow when we have...
Orange juice and bagels. What any speech geek needs to sustain the creative juices and quick wit. She says she likes the way I did Jabberwocky. Hates the author though. Calls him a drug addicted pedophile. Hmm... I really like this gal, though. I'll have to write her when I get back to campus. And make sure I make it to more tournaments. I like this speech stuff...
She wrote me back! She signed it "Love!" Oh boy...
Whirlwind of time... and suddenly we're getting married. After all the long distance phone calls and the quick weekend visits and the fights with my parents and the fights with her parents and all the other hoohaw... it's happening... it's really happening... she's said yes... she's going to be MY wife... oh boy... oh wow... Nothing fancy... immediate friends and family... and DAVE and Aaron made it!! He said he got the invite at almost literally the last moment. Luckily, he and Aaron had to go pick up a truck somewhere and we/us happened to be between the truck and home (Butte, Montana, can ya believe it?). I'm so thrilled...
... And we're moving to Oregon City... in-laws seem to think I've got a chance at a better job over here. I liked the paint store. Like Jim and Lupe, Vaughn and Sherrie, Bob...Playing Euchre til three in the morning in Jim and Lupe's basement, listening to Pink Floyd, ZZ Top, George "Thoroughly Good" (and no recreational pharmaceuticals... wow)...
... I'm hired!! I'll be the data entry person for ALLEGRO, the largest independent classical music distributor in North America. Not bad for a company that's basically working out of a commercial garage... Oh, we're moving? Ok, that's cool... It's out near the airport? Well that doubles my drive time... Oh well... Oh, you want me to do customer service now? Ok, that's cool... you need a data entry person?... Steph could do this job... She can?!! Cool! We work together! We play together! We... have a kid!?!?!?!!! oh wooooow..... I can't wait to meet
... Douglas Ryan James, born 7:00 pm April 11, 1996, via C-section. I can't believe the nurse, Maria, all four foot nothing of her, was up on top of Steph, pounding - almost jumping up and down - on her, trying to get Doug to let go of Steph's ribs. Doug, being the polite boy he is peed all over the doctor... that's my boy...
... tired of this job and it's bs... Chris and Kat say they've got a lead for me in Seattle. I've got to try. Steph's hesitant, and I should listen to her, but Chris hasn't let me down before....
... there's a first for everything. No job. Barely an interview. Now what do I do?... Dig in and try.... Yes, I have data entry experience... I'm hired!? oh boy... what do you mean, we have ANOTHER inventory?!?! THAT'S THE FIFTH ONE IN THE LAST FIVE WEEKS!!! I am so out of here...
... Think you could use an experience customer service rep? You are hiring?!?! ME?!?! oh wow... THANK YOU, Vince and Rico and Joe... THANK YOU... You won't regret it...
... you're letting me go?... But... Steph's pregnant again... NOW what do I do... dig in and try... Mark, I'll admit, I've got no experience, but I'll give it the old college try... You'll hire me?! Oh boy! I'm a crane inspector! oh boy...
... there's something wrong with the baby... Steph is freaking, and I'm not far behind... and this nurse!! Ugh!! She going to check for amniotic fluid, and if it's not there, she's going to send us home... CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE?!?!... fluid check is positive?! We're staying... Steph goes on the Pit Drip to try and induce contractions... we've gone this route before... what's wrong my baby? Alexandra Noel, born March 14, 1999, not with a roar but with a half-whimper... I thought babies were supposed to cry when they're born? Helps with oxygen and blood flow... like butterflies... you can't help a butterfly escape its cocoon if you want it to live. The struggle to free itself forces "blood" into it's wings, strengthening them. Without that struggle, the butterfly will die, because it can't use it's wings. Can't move, can't escape... why are my baby's eyes crossed...
... doc says it's normal... in a pig's eye it's normal...
... Mark, I hate to say it, but I can't do this work any more. I gave it the old college try and... what's that... thank you for saving you from letting me go?... Oh good...
... 2000! Shouldn't we be making contact with divinities out near Jupiter? Here I am worrying about getting a job... Yes, I have data entry experience... Excel? I LOVE Excel!... a laundry, hm? Cleanroom laundry? Sounds interesting, sure why not... Data entry, customer service admin assistant, AND quality assurance admin assist? Sure, why not... oh, document control AS WELL?!?! Um... ok...
... And Jonathan Drake joins us on September 6, 2001... "This is what a NORMAL placenta looks like"... thanks doc, for verifying that you KNOW that something was and is wrong with my daughter, and the proof was at her birth...
... oh my sweet God... They've crashed an airplane into the World Trade Center... ANOTHER ONE!??!!! And one for the Pentagon... and another goes down in Pennsylvania...
... Rett Syndrome... why that of all things...
... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LETTING ME GO?!?! WHY?!?!!! For not sweeping the warehouse?!?! When am I supposed to do the job you hired me for?!?!? Sweep the warehouse... good riddance to this joint... happy Mother's Day...
...Rico?!?! Is that you?... Coffee? Sure... Customer service? You know me... Ah, I can't AFFORD to do this gig, if that's the way the insurance works. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it...
...Do I have call center experience? well, not true call center experience... what do you mean she doesn't think I'm qualified? Let me talk to her, explain my "experience"... I'm hired! Temp work, but oh well! I get to pay for Christmas!... have to let me go... oh... ok....
... Yes, I have data entry experience... a metal fab company, hm?... sounds interesting... nice and quiet... and I've got at least ONE person interested in my music...
... ADP's on the phone?...Would I like to work for you full time?!! Is that a joke?! I am SO there...
... Would I like to live next door to Mom and Dad? Is that a trick question?...
... What do you mean we no longer work for ADP?... Oh, a BILLION dollar buy-out! Wow!... and he's got $6 BILLION backing him!?!?! Holy....
... What do you mean it's June 8th, 2006... I just met this gal, what? Half an hour ago...
Let me repeat that: it's my FIFTEENTH wedding anniversary.
I'd say it again, but the horse is long past dead.
How is it that I've been married fifteen years already? I just met this girl at a speech tournament, what? Half an hour ago? She's so cool! She did this piece called "The .38" and in it this girl is assaulted and dragged down stairs and shot and it's really sick and really scary but she did it SO COOL! Yeah, I'm a sick twist but she doesn't know that yet. She'll probably find out tomorrow when we have...
Orange juice and bagels. What any speech geek needs to sustain the creative juices and quick wit. She says she likes the way I did Jabberwocky. Hates the author though. Calls him a drug addicted pedophile. Hmm... I really like this gal, though. I'll have to write her when I get back to campus. And make sure I make it to more tournaments. I like this speech stuff...
She wrote me back! She signed it "Love!" Oh boy...
Whirlwind of time... and suddenly we're getting married. After all the long distance phone calls and the quick weekend visits and the fights with my parents and the fights with her parents and all the other hoohaw... it's happening... it's really happening... she's said yes... she's going to be MY wife... oh boy... oh wow... Nothing fancy... immediate friends and family... and DAVE and Aaron made it!! He said he got the invite at almost literally the last moment. Luckily, he and Aaron had to go pick up a truck somewhere and we/us happened to be between the truck and home (Butte, Montana, can ya believe it?). I'm so thrilled...
... And we're moving to Oregon City... in-laws seem to think I've got a chance at a better job over here. I liked the paint store. Like Jim and Lupe, Vaughn and Sherrie, Bob...Playing Euchre til three in the morning in Jim and Lupe's basement, listening to Pink Floyd, ZZ Top, George "Thoroughly Good" (and no recreational pharmaceuticals... wow)...
... I'm hired!! I'll be the data entry person for ALLEGRO, the largest independent classical music distributor in North America. Not bad for a company that's basically working out of a commercial garage... Oh, we're moving? Ok, that's cool... It's out near the airport? Well that doubles my drive time... Oh well... Oh, you want me to do customer service now? Ok, that's cool... you need a data entry person?... Steph could do this job... She can?!! Cool! We work together! We play together! We... have a kid!?!?!?!!! oh wooooow..... I can't wait to meet
... Douglas Ryan James, born 7:00 pm April 11, 1996, via C-section. I can't believe the nurse, Maria, all four foot nothing of her, was up on top of Steph, pounding - almost jumping up and down - on her, trying to get Doug to let go of Steph's ribs. Doug, being the polite boy he is peed all over the doctor... that's my boy...
... tired of this job and it's bs... Chris and Kat say they've got a lead for me in Seattle. I've got to try. Steph's hesitant, and I should listen to her, but Chris hasn't let me down before....
... there's a first for everything. No job. Barely an interview. Now what do I do?... Dig in and try.... Yes, I have data entry experience... I'm hired!? oh boy... what do you mean, we have ANOTHER inventory?!?! THAT'S THE FIFTH ONE IN THE LAST FIVE WEEKS!!! I am so out of here...
... Think you could use an experience customer service rep? You are hiring?!?! ME?!?! oh wow... THANK YOU, Vince and Rico and Joe... THANK YOU... You won't regret it...
... you're letting me go?... But... Steph's pregnant again... NOW what do I do... dig in and try... Mark, I'll admit, I've got no experience, but I'll give it the old college try... You'll hire me?! Oh boy! I'm a crane inspector! oh boy...
... there's something wrong with the baby... Steph is freaking, and I'm not far behind... and this nurse!! Ugh!! She going to check for amniotic fluid, and if it's not there, she's going to send us home... CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE?!?!... fluid check is positive?! We're staying... Steph goes on the Pit Drip to try and induce contractions... we've gone this route before... what's wrong my baby? Alexandra Noel, born March 14, 1999, not with a roar but with a half-whimper... I thought babies were supposed to cry when they're born? Helps with oxygen and blood flow... like butterflies... you can't help a butterfly escape its cocoon if you want it to live. The struggle to free itself forces "blood" into it's wings, strengthening them. Without that struggle, the butterfly will die, because it can't use it's wings. Can't move, can't escape... why are my baby's eyes crossed...
... doc says it's normal... in a pig's eye it's normal...
... Mark, I hate to say it, but I can't do this work any more. I gave it the old college try and... what's that... thank you for saving you from letting me go?... Oh good...
... 2000! Shouldn't we be making contact with divinities out near Jupiter? Here I am worrying about getting a job... Yes, I have data entry experience... Excel? I LOVE Excel!... a laundry, hm? Cleanroom laundry? Sounds interesting, sure why not... Data entry, customer service admin assistant, AND quality assurance admin assist? Sure, why not... oh, document control AS WELL?!?! Um... ok...
... And Jonathan Drake joins us on September 6, 2001... "This is what a NORMAL placenta looks like"... thanks doc, for verifying that you KNOW that something was and is wrong with my daughter, and the proof was at her birth...
... oh my sweet God... They've crashed an airplane into the World Trade Center... ANOTHER ONE!??!!! And one for the Pentagon... and another goes down in Pennsylvania...
... Rett Syndrome... why that of all things...
... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LETTING ME GO?!?! WHY?!?!!! For not sweeping the warehouse?!?! When am I supposed to do the job you hired me for?!?!? Sweep the warehouse... good riddance to this joint... happy Mother's Day...
...Rico?!?! Is that you?... Coffee? Sure... Customer service? You know me... Ah, I can't AFFORD to do this gig, if that's the way the insurance works. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it...
...Do I have call center experience? well, not true call center experience... what do you mean she doesn't think I'm qualified? Let me talk to her, explain my "experience"... I'm hired! Temp work, but oh well! I get to pay for Christmas!... have to let me go... oh... ok....
... Yes, I have data entry experience... a metal fab company, hm?... sounds interesting... nice and quiet... and I've got at least ONE person interested in my music...
... ADP's on the phone?...Would I like to work for you full time?!! Is that a joke?! I am SO there...
... Would I like to live next door to Mom and Dad? Is that a trick question?...
... What do you mean we no longer work for ADP?... Oh, a BILLION dollar buy-out! Wow!... and he's got $6 BILLION backing him!?!?! Holy....
... What do you mean it's June 8th, 2006... I just met this gal, what? Half an hour ago...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
X-Men 3 - Last Stand or Calm Before the Storm
There's been a lot of hullabaloo about X-Men III: The Last Stand. (Not as much as DaVinci Code, but that's another post). Is it the last X-Men movie? Did Brett Ratner ruin the series? If so, can it be salvaged?
Personally, I don't think this is the last film. I think it was a "filler" film, which is not a good reason to make a film, but it does what it's supposed to do: entertain.
X-Men III: Last Stand centers around the premise that a pharmaceutical company has discovered a "cure" for mutation. This cure happens to be secretions from another mutant. On one side is the ever-afraid humans, seeking to destroy (or at least control) that which they don't understand. On another side is Magneto, long time friend of Charles Xavier, long time foe of the X-Men. He and his Brotherhood, heartily oppose the cure, claiming the humans will use it as a weapon against mutantkind in order to maintain the current power structure (in this, Magneto is not wholly wrong). On a third side (or rather, caught in the middle, as usual) are the X-Men, who's goal is harmonious existence between human- and mutantkind. Led by Charles Xavier, they battle those foes who would destroy mutants for the sake of their mutation, as well as mutants who would try to destroy those humans. "Can't we all just get along?" is an implied battlecry for the muties in black.
The sub-plot is a carry-over from X-Men 2: X-Men United. In that film, Jean Grey, a powerful mentalist and student of Xavier's, has died in a sacrifice to save the rest of the team from a flood from a burst dam. Her love, Scott Summers, Cyclops, has not taken this well at all. Scott leaves the school because he thinks he's hearing Jean call him. Traveling back to Alkali Lake, he can't handle the voices and lets loose with a powerful optic blast into the lake. This burst release Jean, like the Lady in the Lake, and they are reunited... briefly.
We find out that Jean is a Class 5 mutant, the most powerful kind, and that Professor X put some heavy duty mental blocks on her when she was a child, to protect her (and the rest of the world) from her tremendous power. In the process, he created a schism, a secondary personality called the Phoenix, a personality of all passion and rage with no restraint. It was implied in X2 that events in X1 weakened those protective barriers and that the finale of X2 burst them. So when the X-Men recover Jean, she is in constant battle with Phoenix, trying desperately to keep it under control.
Ok, purists are going to see this movie and be disappointed (they always are). "That's not how Jean became Phoenix!" You know what? You're right. That's NOT how Jean became Phoenix... in the books. But this is not the books. It's the movies, and the movies have to do things very differently.
In the books, Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler and Collosus were recruited by Xavier to help save Cyclops, Havoc, Iceman, Polaris, and Angel from a killer island named Krakoa. That wouldn't have worked for a movie. In the books, Jean becomes Phoenix flying a space shuttle back to Earth through a deadly solar flare. While they could have done that in a movie, it would have been expensive. In the books, Kitty Pryde is recruited in a bidding war between Xavier and Emma Frost, White Queen of the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club. In the movie, she was recruited, but without the drama and action that went with Kitty in the book series.
The movies are a universe unto themselves. They function well against each other, even this movie. I'm a little disturbed by how certain characters react to certain situations in this film (specifically Rogue), but by and large I feel the series is not ruined, as some opponents have decried. Brett Ratner, better known for the Rush Hour movies, has made a film that works (and I feel works well) within the framework built and established by Bryan Singer.
Some opponents are upset with the overnumber of mutants and the lack of background. They're upset by the amount of explosions and not enough explanation. To those folks I say this: IT IS A COMIC BOOK MOVIE. Most of these characters only need explanation if you haven't seen the other two movies (or haven't read the books).
There are only a couple of blatant errors that I could see on the initial viewing, and one of those errors was a book vs. movie change that I personally didn't care for regarding Juggernaught. The other is regarding Angel and flight speed. I'll just leave it at that and let you, the audience, decide if I'm being picky.
Again, I thought this was a great movie. If you go, stay for all the credits. There's a little twist after the credits roll that tells me we haven't seen the last of the X-Men on film.
Four and a half stars (out of five).
Personally, I don't think this is the last film. I think it was a "filler" film, which is not a good reason to make a film, but it does what it's supposed to do: entertain.
X-Men III: Last Stand centers around the premise that a pharmaceutical company has discovered a "cure" for mutation. This cure happens to be secretions from another mutant. On one side is the ever-afraid humans, seeking to destroy (or at least control) that which they don't understand. On another side is Magneto, long time friend of Charles Xavier, long time foe of the X-Men. He and his Brotherhood, heartily oppose the cure, claiming the humans will use it as a weapon against mutantkind in order to maintain the current power structure (in this, Magneto is not wholly wrong). On a third side (or rather, caught in the middle, as usual) are the X-Men, who's goal is harmonious existence between human- and mutantkind. Led by Charles Xavier, they battle those foes who would destroy mutants for the sake of their mutation, as well as mutants who would try to destroy those humans. "Can't we all just get along?" is an implied battlecry for the muties in black.
The sub-plot is a carry-over from X-Men 2: X-Men United. In that film, Jean Grey, a powerful mentalist and student of Xavier's, has died in a sacrifice to save the rest of the team from a flood from a burst dam. Her love, Scott Summers, Cyclops, has not taken this well at all. Scott leaves the school because he thinks he's hearing Jean call him. Traveling back to Alkali Lake, he can't handle the voices and lets loose with a powerful optic blast into the lake. This burst release Jean, like the Lady in the Lake, and they are reunited... briefly.
We find out that Jean is a Class 5 mutant, the most powerful kind, and that Professor X put some heavy duty mental blocks on her when she was a child, to protect her (and the rest of the world) from her tremendous power. In the process, he created a schism, a secondary personality called the Phoenix, a personality of all passion and rage with no restraint. It was implied in X2 that events in X1 weakened those protective barriers and that the finale of X2 burst them. So when the X-Men recover Jean, she is in constant battle with Phoenix, trying desperately to keep it under control.
Ok, purists are going to see this movie and be disappointed (they always are). "That's not how Jean became Phoenix!" You know what? You're right. That's NOT how Jean became Phoenix... in the books. But this is not the books. It's the movies, and the movies have to do things very differently.
In the books, Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler and Collosus were recruited by Xavier to help save Cyclops, Havoc, Iceman, Polaris, and Angel from a killer island named Krakoa. That wouldn't have worked for a movie. In the books, Jean becomes Phoenix flying a space shuttle back to Earth through a deadly solar flare. While they could have done that in a movie, it would have been expensive. In the books, Kitty Pryde is recruited in a bidding war between Xavier and Emma Frost, White Queen of the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club. In the movie, she was recruited, but without the drama and action that went with Kitty in the book series.
The movies are a universe unto themselves. They function well against each other, even this movie. I'm a little disturbed by how certain characters react to certain situations in this film (specifically Rogue), but by and large I feel the series is not ruined, as some opponents have decried. Brett Ratner, better known for the Rush Hour movies, has made a film that works (and I feel works well) within the framework built and established by Bryan Singer.
Some opponents are upset with the overnumber of mutants and the lack of background. They're upset by the amount of explosions and not enough explanation. To those folks I say this: IT IS A COMIC BOOK MOVIE. Most of these characters only need explanation if you haven't seen the other two movies (or haven't read the books).
There are only a couple of blatant errors that I could see on the initial viewing, and one of those errors was a book vs. movie change that I personally didn't care for regarding Juggernaught. The other is regarding Angel and flight speed. I'll just leave it at that and let you, the audience, decide if I'm being picky.
Again, I thought this was a great movie. If you go, stay for all the credits. There's a little twist after the credits roll that tells me we haven't seen the last of the X-Men on film.
Four and a half stars (out of five).
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Proof - It's in the Pudding
Ok, after the heaviness of the last post, I need to decompress a bit. I figure a quick flick review will do the trick.
Watched PROOF (on DVD)last night.
Starring Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love, the Talented Mr. Ripley, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, et al),
Jake Gyllenhaal (October Sky, the Day After Tomorrow, Jarhead, and the ever infamous Brokeback Mountain), and
Sir Anthony Hopkins (too many great films to list, but for a sampling Silence of the Lambs, the Mask of Zorro, Magic, the Elephant Man, Dracula, Nixon, and so on and so forth)
The story itself is rather simplistic. A famous mathematician, Robert (Hopkins), has died after many years of mental illness. His daughter Catherine (Paltrow) has cared for him for the last five. A young professor, Hal (Gyllenhaal), whom Robert tutored and mentored through Hal's Doctoral thesis, is looking through Robert's notebooks (all 109 of them) to see if he could find any breakthroughs in math that Robert might have been working on. (Robert was reputed to have influenced three different spheres of science with his work when he was in his 20's.) While not out-and-out stated, it is implied that Robert suffered from schizophrenia. What's also implied is that Catherine may also suffer from it. Hal confides in Catherine what he's searching for. Catherine shows him a notebook containing a 40 page mathematical proof that, if found to be sound, would once again radically change an area of math. After a brief argument involving Hal, Catherine, and Catherine's bitch sister Claire (played to malevolent excellence by Hope Davis), it's revealed that the proof was written, not by Robert, but by Catherine. Hal cannot accept this, as Catherine dropped out of college to take care of her father. The remainder of the movie deals with Hal trying to "prove" the proof, and Catherine trying to deal with Claire's mechanizations to get Catherine to move from Chicago to New York so Claire "can take care of you." In Catherine's mind (and not unrightly so), this actually means big sister has found a nice mental hospital to put Catherine away in and keep her out of embarrassing view.
The character interaction is honest. Hopkins is, as always, brilliant. While he is not in the majority of the movie, the scenes that he is in are HIS. Paltrow does an excellent job of holding her own against this cinematic juggernaught (she, also, is an Oscar winner, so is no slouch in the scene-control game). Gyllenhaal's character grows on you, like most of the characters he's portrayed in recent memory. And Hope Davis' Claire makes me want to come up with some creative forms of assassination.
PROOF is not a great film. I dubbed it "A Beautiful Life, part 2" as I watched the opening scenes. However, it does not overextend itself. It doesn't pretend to be something more than it is: a drama about the human interaction surrounding the death of a beloved, but very disturbed man. The geek in me wishes they'd spend more time discussing the math, but it's really irrelevant to the overall story. And while it doesn't have a definitive ending, it's not an unsatisfying conclusion. It's like working on a proof: sometimes you come to the wrong conclusion, and so you go back and rework things and figure out where you made your mistake and correct it.
Other than one superfluous love scene, this was a decent little movie that I recommend to folks who like drama with geek overtones. Three stars.
Watched PROOF (on DVD)last night.
Starring Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love, the Talented Mr. Ripley, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, et al),
Jake Gyllenhaal (October Sky, the Day After Tomorrow, Jarhead, and the ever infamous Brokeback Mountain), and
Sir Anthony Hopkins (too many great films to list, but for a sampling Silence of the Lambs, the Mask of Zorro, Magic, the Elephant Man, Dracula, Nixon, and so on and so forth)
The story itself is rather simplistic. A famous mathematician, Robert (Hopkins), has died after many years of mental illness. His daughter Catherine (Paltrow) has cared for him for the last five. A young professor, Hal (Gyllenhaal), whom Robert tutored and mentored through Hal's Doctoral thesis, is looking through Robert's notebooks (all 109 of them) to see if he could find any breakthroughs in math that Robert might have been working on. (Robert was reputed to have influenced three different spheres of science with his work when he was in his 20's.) While not out-and-out stated, it is implied that Robert suffered from schizophrenia. What's also implied is that Catherine may also suffer from it. Hal confides in Catherine what he's searching for. Catherine shows him a notebook containing a 40 page mathematical proof that, if found to be sound, would once again radically change an area of math. After a brief argument involving Hal, Catherine, and Catherine's bitch sister Claire (played to malevolent excellence by Hope Davis), it's revealed that the proof was written, not by Robert, but by Catherine. Hal cannot accept this, as Catherine dropped out of college to take care of her father. The remainder of the movie deals with Hal trying to "prove" the proof, and Catherine trying to deal with Claire's mechanizations to get Catherine to move from Chicago to New York so Claire "can take care of you." In Catherine's mind (and not unrightly so), this actually means big sister has found a nice mental hospital to put Catherine away in and keep her out of embarrassing view.
The character interaction is honest. Hopkins is, as always, brilliant. While he is not in the majority of the movie, the scenes that he is in are HIS. Paltrow does an excellent job of holding her own against this cinematic juggernaught (she, also, is an Oscar winner, so is no slouch in the scene-control game). Gyllenhaal's character grows on you, like most of the characters he's portrayed in recent memory. And Hope Davis' Claire makes me want to come up with some creative forms of assassination.
PROOF is not a great film. I dubbed it "A Beautiful Life, part 2" as I watched the opening scenes. However, it does not overextend itself. It doesn't pretend to be something more than it is: a drama about the human interaction surrounding the death of a beloved, but very disturbed man. The geek in me wishes they'd spend more time discussing the math, but it's really irrelevant to the overall story. And while it doesn't have a definitive ending, it's not an unsatisfying conclusion. It's like working on a proof: sometimes you come to the wrong conclusion, and so you go back and rework things and figure out where you made your mistake and correct it.
Other than one superfluous love scene, this was a decent little movie that I recommend to folks who like drama with geek overtones. Three stars.
God and Church - mutually exclusive
Have you ever wondered how you could have possibly turned into the person you currently are? Look back at your upbringing, look at your parents and go... WTF?!?!
My parents visited for the weekend. Haven't seen them in awhile, but I always dread them coming (a little). No matter what I've done, what I've accomplished, what I've achieved, it's not what they would have me do. Or more specifically, my mother.
Don't get me wrong, I love my folks. But it's just amazing to me where my life lies, as opposed to where I "should" be, according to my mother's plan.
This time around, its my lack of going to church. Or more specifically, my lack of taking my sons to church. As I've stated before, I'm a Christian. I follow CHRIST. I was raised in a church environment (my father was a Nazarene pastor for 15 years) and so there is a strong moral and ethical code in my background. Unfortunately, there is also a strong religious and dogmatic code in my background as well. My parents fully believe that if I'm not involved with some church that I'm a miserable failure, that they are miserable failures, and that my children are doomed to become the juvenile delinquents that my mother expects them to become.
My mother works in juvenile corrections for the state of Washington. She sees, on a near daily basis (or so she claims), what happens when "good kids fall in with the wrong people." My question is this: what is a "good person?" Who are "wrong people?" Those are relatively simply questions on the big picture. Good people are those folks who obey the laws, respect their elders, are kind to animals, and so forth. Wrong people are those who have poor habits (drug abuse, crime tendencies, weak moral fiber, etc.)
But how can I take her seriously when I've seen, first hand, what CHRISTIANS do in the name of GOD? My own mother will break laws for her own convenience if it isn't hurting anyone (she hasn't met a speed limit yet that she liked - at least if SHE'S behind the wheel of the automobile). She used my computer without so much as a by-your-leave. She lectures me on how I should get my boys into a church youth group, before they "fall in with the wrong crowd."
When I was of an age, the dichotomy at church was WORSE than the one at school. At least at school, if people didn't care to be around you, you would be ignored. The only time I felt like I was "wanted" by anyone in the youth group (with one very important exception), was when we did Bible quizzing or we had some choir activity. I was a good little sheep growing up, and tried my best to follow the golden rule, even if the result was golden showers for me.
I respected my parents and all other "elders" when other kids my age were throwing fits in the front foyer, acting in ways that would have gotten me clocked. I tried to be obedient and helpful and uplifting, when inside I wanted to be rebellious, disorderly, selfish.
My mother informs me that, to this day, there are people that ask how I (and my sister and her family) are doing and that "we always liked your two kids, they were so respectful." Know what, Mom? I didn't learn it in church. Church was were you dragged me to because you had to. You couldn't get a sitter, and it would have looked really bad for the son of a preacher man to stay home because he "didn't like church."
My best friend (other than my wife) remembered and reminded me that when I was younger - 5th, 6th grade - that I didn't like church THEN. I have tried to go to church since leaving the nest. I've gone to four different churches in the last 15 years. Spent significant amounts of my time and energy being involved with these congregations. And THREE of those churches have or had MAJOR trouble while I was there or soon after I left. I'm not saying I jinxed these congregations. But I will say that their problems didn't generally come from Bible issues. They came from personality issues and dogma issues. What color the fridge should be in the kitchen. Whether or not there should be onions in the potato salad at the annual 4th of July picnic. Which direction the pulpit should face. You get the idea.
So when my mother looks me in the face, and with great concern tells me I should get my kids into a church group, in the back of my head I have to ask "Why? It didn't do me any good. In fact, it started me down a road of doubt. Not of my faith in God - that is unwavering. My faith in my fellow
"Christians." If being Christian is to be a "little Christ" (which is what the word is supposed to mean), why do so many Christians hate. Other sects, other religions... KKK - claims to be Christian organization. Nazi's purported to be following God's commands. Nazarenes hate Masons (at least they did when I was a kid) because "they have secret ceremonies" - guess what? Anyone who's ever walked into a communion service, a baptism, or an alter call who's never been exposed to those activities would think they were "secret ceremonies" as well because they are not always expained. Catholics hate Jews (or at least that's what I have seen in the news and what Hollywood shows us) because "they killed Jesus" - guess what? If Jesus hadn't wanted to die, our sins wouldn't have been paid for and we'd ALL be going to Hell! Baptists hate... everybody not Baptist, but specifically Catholics, because "they worship the Pope and the Virgin Mary" - guess what? ANY pastor who's in a pulpit for longer than 5 years has to be re-assessed: is it because he's an effective leader, a successful shepherd, or is he being "worshiped" by his congregation? And as far as the Virgin Mary, we Protestants have a lot to learn about respect and reverance. Mary was honored by Almighty GOD to be the vessel that carried His SON made flesh!!! If that doesn't deserve some respect, then I'd like to know what your priorities are. All this unfounded hated is ridiculous, nay STUPID, and it is wrong.
God loves all of us. Why can't we love each other?
To all you "religious" folk out there, ask yourself this: if Jesus were here today, who would he be having dinner with?
a) you
b) your pastor
c) the Pope
d) a drug addicted single-mom, working as a prostitute to feed here kids
My answer is "d" because Jesus mission was to spread love, not condemnation. Who else needs more love than option d?
I love God. I love Jesus. But I'm really disappointed with his followers. And that includes my parents.
My parents visited for the weekend. Haven't seen them in awhile, but I always dread them coming (a little). No matter what I've done, what I've accomplished, what I've achieved, it's not what they would have me do. Or more specifically, my mother.
Don't get me wrong, I love my folks. But it's just amazing to me where my life lies, as opposed to where I "should" be, according to my mother's plan.
This time around, its my lack of going to church. Or more specifically, my lack of taking my sons to church. As I've stated before, I'm a Christian. I follow CHRIST. I was raised in a church environment (my father was a Nazarene pastor for 15 years) and so there is a strong moral and ethical code in my background. Unfortunately, there is also a strong religious and dogmatic code in my background as well. My parents fully believe that if I'm not involved with some church that I'm a miserable failure, that they are miserable failures, and that my children are doomed to become the juvenile delinquents that my mother expects them to become.
My mother works in juvenile corrections for the state of Washington. She sees, on a near daily basis (or so she claims), what happens when "good kids fall in with the wrong people." My question is this: what is a "good person?" Who are "wrong people?" Those are relatively simply questions on the big picture. Good people are those folks who obey the laws, respect their elders, are kind to animals, and so forth. Wrong people are those who have poor habits (drug abuse, crime tendencies, weak moral fiber, etc.)
But how can I take her seriously when I've seen, first hand, what CHRISTIANS do in the name of GOD? My own mother will break laws for her own convenience if it isn't hurting anyone (she hasn't met a speed limit yet that she liked - at least if SHE'S behind the wheel of the automobile). She used my computer without so much as a by-your-leave. She lectures me on how I should get my boys into a church youth group, before they "fall in with the wrong crowd."
When I was of an age, the dichotomy at church was WORSE than the one at school. At least at school, if people didn't care to be around you, you would be ignored. The only time I felt like I was "wanted" by anyone in the youth group (with one very important exception), was when we did Bible quizzing or we had some choir activity. I was a good little sheep growing up, and tried my best to follow the golden rule, even if the result was golden showers for me.
I respected my parents and all other "elders" when other kids my age were throwing fits in the front foyer, acting in ways that would have gotten me clocked. I tried to be obedient and helpful and uplifting, when inside I wanted to be rebellious, disorderly, selfish.
My mother informs me that, to this day, there are people that ask how I (and my sister and her family) are doing and that "we always liked your two kids, they were so respectful." Know what, Mom? I didn't learn it in church. Church was were you dragged me to because you had to. You couldn't get a sitter, and it would have looked really bad for the son of a preacher man to stay home because he "didn't like church."
My best friend (other than my wife) remembered and reminded me that when I was younger - 5th, 6th grade - that I didn't like church THEN. I have tried to go to church since leaving the nest. I've gone to four different churches in the last 15 years. Spent significant amounts of my time and energy being involved with these congregations. And THREE of those churches have or had MAJOR trouble while I was there or soon after I left. I'm not saying I jinxed these congregations. But I will say that their problems didn't generally come from Bible issues. They came from personality issues and dogma issues. What color the fridge should be in the kitchen. Whether or not there should be onions in the potato salad at the annual 4th of July picnic. Which direction the pulpit should face. You get the idea.
So when my mother looks me in the face, and with great concern tells me I should get my kids into a church group, in the back of my head I have to ask "Why? It didn't do me any good. In fact, it started me down a road of doubt. Not of my faith in God - that is unwavering. My faith in my fellow
"Christians." If being Christian is to be a "little Christ" (which is what the word is supposed to mean), why do so many Christians hate. Other sects, other religions... KKK - claims to be Christian organization. Nazi's purported to be following God's commands. Nazarenes hate Masons (at least they did when I was a kid) because "they have secret ceremonies" - guess what? Anyone who's ever walked into a communion service, a baptism, or an alter call who's never been exposed to those activities would think they were "secret ceremonies" as well because they are not always expained. Catholics hate Jews (or at least that's what I have seen in the news and what Hollywood shows us) because "they killed Jesus" - guess what? If Jesus hadn't wanted to die, our sins wouldn't have been paid for and we'd ALL be going to Hell! Baptists hate... everybody not Baptist, but specifically Catholics, because "they worship the Pope and the Virgin Mary" - guess what? ANY pastor who's in a pulpit for longer than 5 years has to be re-assessed: is it because he's an effective leader, a successful shepherd, or is he being "worshiped" by his congregation? And as far as the Virgin Mary, we Protestants have a lot to learn about respect and reverance. Mary was honored by Almighty GOD to be the vessel that carried His SON made flesh!!! If that doesn't deserve some respect, then I'd like to know what your priorities are. All this unfounded hated is ridiculous, nay STUPID, and it is wrong.
God loves all of us. Why can't we love each other?
To all you "religious" folk out there, ask yourself this: if Jesus were here today, who would he be having dinner with?
a) you
b) your pastor
c) the Pope
d) a drug addicted single-mom, working as a prostitute to feed here kids
My answer is "d" because Jesus mission was to spread love, not condemnation. Who else needs more love than option d?
I love God. I love Jesus. But I'm really disappointed with his followers. And that includes my parents.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Mental spewing with no true content or cohesion
So there I was in the Land of Make Believe, and Mr. Rogers is just WAILING on me with a baseball bat.
I ask him, "What's your beef, McDude?"
He says, "You hid my favorite sweater and now my sneakers are making funny noises, you little -"
Hold up, wait a minute, Mr. Rogers would NEVER say something like that...
Rewind...
So there I was, standing before the Wizard of Oz, squinting because all the green is giving me a bitchkitty of a headache. He opens his mouth to say something profound and this fly flies right out of his enormous head.
"Dude," I say, as calmly as my jade-blinded mind can cope with, "There was a fly in your noggin'!"
"Of course!" he shrieks, sounding more like the Wicked Witch of the West than Oz, the great and terrible. "How else do you keep ideas buzzing in your head?"
WHAT?!?!?
Rewind...
So I'm on the shores of an unknown lake in the middle of nowhere, tied to a pole, being hefted by two pot-bellied tribesmen with stew on the minds and blades on their belts. It does not look so good for our hero. Must be something I said, because I THOUGHT I'd said "I'd like to meet your leader." Probably said something like "Noodles grope your daughter." Dang foreign languages...
One of the tribes men says "Ungah ge karow mit grobe tun dic warbal tac."
The other responds with, "Mangaree! Tung goo farga bin leek dif fragin biss!"
The first replies, "Muchugah! Gran dif leekin grub mack doofing slab toke mine. Zubungho."
The second counters with "Zubungho!?! Zepp tookin fleep mork baff lik munga chok! Issin brat goon brack fline beegun fropsy! Zubungho! Bah! Gocheekbah!!"
The first, astounded, says, "Gocheekbah!?! Hmmm... Gocheekbah!!!"
The both look at me and the look in their eyes is not one of pity, in much the same way that the eyes of a butcher are not pity filled while slaughtering a cow. It was more of a look that said, "How do you want your done? Medium well? Extra rare? With or without mushrooms?"
Scccccrrrrrrraaaaaaattttttccccccchhhhhhh...........
I wake up. I'm still sitting in the office with nothing to do... Damn.
Yeah, that IS a dream.
Willie Wonka wants a panda.
Dressed in tap shoes, like a danda.
Tippity tap, all metal to wood.
Tips his hat, bows like you should.
Greets the children with smiles and flowers.
Tolerates their whining by the hours.
Gimme the candy, the chocolate, the sugar!
Flick a winner, pick a booger.
Choose your friends with wisdom and care,
For someday you'll need them, they may not be there.
"Love many, trust few,
Always paddle your own canoe."
Words to live by for paranoids and cynics
And all those folks who think that their critics
Of the human condition and all that it stands for
But fail in the long run, like they're smacked by Gigantor
So frail, so fragile the ego of men
Who fail to learn anything again and again
And like those small children pestering Wonka
All they think they need is a toy (not a Tonka)
More stuff! More things! Give me overabundance.
Back off, Mr. Big Britches, you have a preponderance
Of cash and of capital, but you're lacking in substance,
Grow a soul, grow a conscience, enjoy your rich circumstance.
Ok, too shallow, too deep, don't make a peep...
hush, hush, hush... huzzah...
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN IS MY HERO!!!!!!
(Sick thing is, I don't drink coffee...)
Ok, enough insanity for today.
If anyone reads this, please, feel free to flame the bageebers outta me. It shows you care...
I ask him, "What's your beef, McDude?"
He says, "You hid my favorite sweater and now my sneakers are making funny noises, you little -"
Hold up, wait a minute, Mr. Rogers would NEVER say something like that...
Rewind...
So there I was, standing before the Wizard of Oz, squinting because all the green is giving me a bitchkitty of a headache. He opens his mouth to say something profound and this fly flies right out of his enormous head.
"Dude," I say, as calmly as my jade-blinded mind can cope with, "There was a fly in your noggin'!"
"Of course!" he shrieks, sounding more like the Wicked Witch of the West than Oz, the great and terrible. "How else do you keep ideas buzzing in your head?"
WHAT?!?!?
Rewind...
So I'm on the shores of an unknown lake in the middle of nowhere, tied to a pole, being hefted by two pot-bellied tribesmen with stew on the minds and blades on their belts. It does not look so good for our hero. Must be something I said, because I THOUGHT I'd said "I'd like to meet your leader." Probably said something like "Noodles grope your daughter." Dang foreign languages...
One of the tribes men says "Ungah ge karow mit grobe tun dic warbal tac."
The other responds with, "Mangaree! Tung goo farga bin leek dif fragin biss!"
The first replies, "Muchugah! Gran dif leekin grub mack doofing slab toke mine. Zubungho."
The second counters with "Zubungho!?! Zepp tookin fleep mork baff lik munga chok! Issin brat goon brack fline beegun fropsy! Zubungho! Bah! Gocheekbah!!"
The first, astounded, says, "Gocheekbah!?! Hmmm... Gocheekbah!!!"
The both look at me and the look in their eyes is not one of pity, in much the same way that the eyes of a butcher are not pity filled while slaughtering a cow. It was more of a look that said, "How do you want your done? Medium well? Extra rare? With or without mushrooms?"
Scccccrrrrrrraaaaaaattttttccccccchhhhhhh...........
I wake up. I'm still sitting in the office with nothing to do... Damn.
Yeah, that IS a dream.
Willie Wonka wants a panda.
Dressed in tap shoes, like a danda.
Tippity tap, all metal to wood.
Tips his hat, bows like you should.
Greets the children with smiles and flowers.
Tolerates their whining by the hours.
Gimme the candy, the chocolate, the sugar!
Flick a winner, pick a booger.
Choose your friends with wisdom and care,
For someday you'll need them, they may not be there.
"Love many, trust few,
Always paddle your own canoe."
Words to live by for paranoids and cynics
And all those folks who think that their critics
Of the human condition and all that it stands for
But fail in the long run, like they're smacked by Gigantor
So frail, so fragile the ego of men
Who fail to learn anything again and again
And like those small children pestering Wonka
All they think they need is a toy (not a Tonka)
More stuff! More things! Give me overabundance.
Back off, Mr. Big Britches, you have a preponderance
Of cash and of capital, but you're lacking in substance,
Grow a soul, grow a conscience, enjoy your rich circumstance.
Ok, too shallow, too deep, don't make a peep...
hush, hush, hush... huzzah...
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN IS MY HERO!!!!!!
(Sick thing is, I don't drink coffee...)
Ok, enough insanity for today.
If anyone reads this, please, feel free to flame the bageebers outta me. It shows you care...
Friday, May 12, 2006
Yes, But can he carry a tune in a bucket?
As stated in an earlier post, I'm a music nut. Fanatic. Lunatic. What have you. I love music. I think it's one of the purer expressions of your soul. What you listen to can be very telling about your personality, or how you're feeling at that moment.
For example, right now I'm listening to a musical shuffle and what's currently up is Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover. This is a pop/rock instrumental by one of the great guitar slingers of our day. It's a very upbeat tune, with a good driving rhythm and just makes me feel good listening to it. Another tune that does this for me is Joe Satriani's Summer Song. Same deal: upbeat tune performed by an incredible musician. I highly suggest both songs to anyone who likes rock guitar.
Ok, the song is now done and next up is Carribean Blue by Enya. Those who know me are going "Oh, yeah. That sounds like something you'd do." Others are going "Say what?!? Rock guitar to celtic new age? What's wrong with you?!?!"
The answer: absolutely nothing.
So, I've come up with some sort of music quiz and posted it below.
Feedback, my musical friends, feedback. (It's called "feedback" because it feeds a need....)
May your day be musical.
MUSIC IS WHAT MOVES ME QUIZ
1) When I wake up in the morning, I’d like to hear:
a) Good Day Sunshine by the Beatles
b) Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
c) I Wish It Would Rain Down by Phil Collins
d) Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw
e) Bad Day by Daniel Powter
f) Ugh… me no need music… me need coffee…
2) When I’m traveling to work, I want to hear:
a) something upbeat, like Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas
b) something rocking, like Once by Pearl Jam
c) something calming, like Caribbean Blue by Enya
d) something pop-y, like Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
e) talk radio, like Howard Stern or Rush Limbaugh
f) who has time for mus- HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE DRIVING, JERK!
3) While I’m at work, I listen to:
a) Top 40 / Hip Hop / R&B
b) Classic Rock / Classic Pop
(NOTE: If your station’s tag line has the words “Greatest Hits of” in it, this is you)
c) Country
d) Heavy Metal / Alternative Rock
e) Smooth Jazz / Classical
f) The boss will fire anyone caught with a radio… jerk…
4) When I’m relaxing, I’d listen to:
a) the hip sound of Shakira (haha, I make joke)
b) the country twang of Rascal Flats
c) the crunchy thrash of Megadeth
d) the urbane wit of Sting
e) the intense chords of Stravinski
f) zzzz…..
5) Bobby McFerrin’s song Don’t Worry, Be Happy
a) is a good song. I like it!
b) is a great song. I want it played continuously!
c) is a stupid song. Who thought putting that on the air was cool?
d) is the most annoying song on the planet. Why did you stick it back in my head?!?
e) Bobby who?
f) DON’T TELL ME NOT TO WORRY!
6) Led Zepplin’s Stairway to Heaven
a) is sacred. Don’t go there.
b) is evil! Have you ever listened to it backwards?
c) is classic. Has anyone remade it yet? (Actually, yes…)
d) is not on my list of required listening
e) What’s a lead zeppelin?
f) Why, oh why, does EVERY rock station devote hours and hours to Led Zepplin?!?!?
7) If you could meet and talk to any musician, who would it be (by genre) and why:
a) Pop
b) Rock
c) Jazz
d) Country
e) other genre (hip-hop, classical, electronica, Indian chanting, whatever)
f) don’t try to psychologize my sh- (ok, ODB, you can lie back in your grave…)
8) If forced into a karaoke situation, what song would you want to sing?
9) What song would you like to see redone (covered), by what band and why?
10) What song are you listening to (or wish you were listening to) RIGHT NOW?
There’s no scientific scoring to any of this. Just an attempt to get us to look at what we listen to and our motivations behind it. ENJOY!
For example, right now I'm listening to a musical shuffle and what's currently up is Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover. This is a pop/rock instrumental by one of the great guitar slingers of our day. It's a very upbeat tune, with a good driving rhythm and just makes me feel good listening to it. Another tune that does this for me is Joe Satriani's Summer Song. Same deal: upbeat tune performed by an incredible musician. I highly suggest both songs to anyone who likes rock guitar.
Ok, the song is now done and next up is Carribean Blue by Enya. Those who know me are going "Oh, yeah. That sounds like something you'd do." Others are going "Say what?!? Rock guitar to celtic new age? What's wrong with you?!?!"
The answer: absolutely nothing.
So, I've come up with some sort of music quiz and posted it below.
Feedback, my musical friends, feedback. (It's called "feedback" because it feeds a need....)
May your day be musical.
MUSIC IS WHAT MOVES ME QUIZ
1) When I wake up in the morning, I’d like to hear:
a) Good Day Sunshine by the Beatles
b) Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
c) I Wish It Would Rain Down by Phil Collins
d) Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw
e) Bad Day by Daniel Powter
f) Ugh… me no need music… me need coffee…
2) When I’m traveling to work, I want to hear:
a) something upbeat, like Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas
b) something rocking, like Once by Pearl Jam
c) something calming, like Caribbean Blue by Enya
d) something pop-y, like Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
e) talk radio, like Howard Stern or Rush Limbaugh
f) who has time for mus- HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE DRIVING, JERK!
3) While I’m at work, I listen to:
a) Top 40 / Hip Hop / R&B
b) Classic Rock / Classic Pop
(NOTE: If your station’s tag line has the words “Greatest Hits of” in it, this is you)
c) Country
d) Heavy Metal / Alternative Rock
e) Smooth Jazz / Classical
f) The boss will fire anyone caught with a radio… jerk…
4) When I’m relaxing, I’d listen to:
a) the hip sound of Shakira (haha, I make joke)
b) the country twang of Rascal Flats
c) the crunchy thrash of Megadeth
d) the urbane wit of Sting
e) the intense chords of Stravinski
f) zzzz…..
5) Bobby McFerrin’s song Don’t Worry, Be Happy
a) is a good song. I like it!
b) is a great song. I want it played continuously!
c) is a stupid song. Who thought putting that on the air was cool?
d) is the most annoying song on the planet. Why did you stick it back in my head?!?
e) Bobby who?
f) DON’T TELL ME NOT TO WORRY!
6) Led Zepplin’s Stairway to Heaven
a) is sacred. Don’t go there.
b) is evil! Have you ever listened to it backwards?
c) is classic. Has anyone remade it yet? (Actually, yes…)
d) is not on my list of required listening
e) What’s a lead zeppelin?
f) Why, oh why, does EVERY rock station devote hours and hours to Led Zepplin?!?!?
7) If you could meet and talk to any musician, who would it be (by genre) and why:
a) Pop
b) Rock
c) Jazz
d) Country
e) other genre (hip-hop, classical, electronica, Indian chanting, whatever)
f) don’t try to psychologize my sh- (ok, ODB, you can lie back in your grave…)
8) If forced into a karaoke situation, what song would you want to sing?
9) What song would you like to see redone (covered), by what band and why?
10) What song are you listening to (or wish you were listening to) RIGHT NOW?
There’s no scientific scoring to any of this. Just an attempt to get us to look at what we listen to and our motivations behind it. ENJOY!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
When the Mental Jukebox Hiccoughs
Ok, for those of you who don't know me, I'm a music nut. I mean NUT, with a capital cashew. All kinds of music: pop, rock, jazz, classical, country, you name it, I'll probably listen to it (too much).
A good friend of mine, who's a bigger music addict than I am, made me some tapes after I graduated from college. The idea he used was the Velcro Principle: put some stuff together, and if it doesn't work, rip it off and try again. I love the idea and started playing with it myself.
Fast forward...
About a year and a half ago I made a couple discs for some guys I worked with. They worked in a warehouse with little to no excitement or anything to keep their minds off of the utter boredom of the job and/or the utter terror of possibly being fired at any moment for any reason (I've worked psycho jobs like this, it is for real). They had listened to every radio station in town (including the boring talk stuff). They had listened to all of their discs (at least twice, and more like three times). I made them a couple discs, but with a very specific idea in mind: put music that has no business being put together... together.
So, with this concept in mind, I give you some ACTUAL examples:
Lucia di Lammermoor / the Diva Dance by the Diva Pavalaguna (from The Fifth Element) to Tijuana Taxi by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass (say what?!)
John Williams' Olympic Fanfare and Theme to Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry (are you mad?!?!)
So... am I just nuts, or does any of this make some sort of ridiculous sense?
I'm of course on the side of "sense" and, at least in this suppressed radio market, I've got a radio station working on a limited version of the concept. If you wanna check it out, here you go:
http://www.charliefm.com/
What what greases your gears musically? Let me know, I need more experimentation. Rachmaninoff to Alice Cooper? Huey Lewis to Charlie Daniels? Cake to Crystal Method?
Try odd combos. Skip the needle once or twice. Blend across genres and expand your horizons.
Flame at will!
This was posted on another blog site, and I want to share some of the examples that people there shared with me, just for your extended amusement:
Okay, try going from Queen to Patsy Cline. How about Metallica "One" to Debussy's "Clair de Lune." Psychedelic Furs to Enya? Michael W. Smith to Black Sabbath?
Imagine listening to a disc, you've got Michael W. Smith's Agnus Dei going on. It fades out into Black Sabbath's Iron Man or (shiver) Mr. Crowley. I think at that point I might consider burning my Discman....
...how about Reproduction (from Grease 2), and 1812 Overture (Tchaikovsky), then maybe Fish Heads (Barnes & Barnes), Airegin (Maynard Ferguson), A Mighty Fortress (an old hymn), Skraggy's Tomb (Savatage), and then Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung (Weird Al Yankovic).
I get to the point of following a nice relaxing Mozart concerto with an unhealthy dose of Quiet Riot's Bang your head. Nothing to strange in that (is there?).
Somebody at work mentioned something about Frank Zappa to the Statler Brothers. That could be interesting.
A good friend of mine, who's a bigger music addict than I am, made me some tapes after I graduated from college. The idea he used was the Velcro Principle: put some stuff together, and if it doesn't work, rip it off and try again. I love the idea and started playing with it myself.
Fast forward...
About a year and a half ago I made a couple discs for some guys I worked with. They worked in a warehouse with little to no excitement or anything to keep their minds off of the utter boredom of the job and/or the utter terror of possibly being fired at any moment for any reason (I've worked psycho jobs like this, it is for real). They had listened to every radio station in town (including the boring talk stuff). They had listened to all of their discs (at least twice, and more like three times). I made them a couple discs, but with a very specific idea in mind: put music that has no business being put together... together.
So, with this concept in mind, I give you some ACTUAL examples:
Lucia di Lammermoor / the Diva Dance by the Diva Pavalaguna (from The Fifth Element) to Tijuana Taxi by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass (say what?!)
John Williams' Olympic Fanfare and Theme to Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry (are you mad?!?!)
So... am I just nuts, or does any of this make some sort of ridiculous sense?
I'm of course on the side of "sense" and, at least in this suppressed radio market, I've got a radio station working on a limited version of the concept. If you wanna check it out, here you go:
http://www.charliefm.com/
What what greases your gears musically? Let me know, I need more experimentation. Rachmaninoff to Alice Cooper? Huey Lewis to Charlie Daniels? Cake to Crystal Method?
Try odd combos. Skip the needle once or twice. Blend across genres and expand your horizons.
Flame at will!
This was posted on another blog site, and I want to share some of the examples that people there shared with me, just for your extended amusement:
Okay, try going from Queen to Patsy Cline. How about Metallica "One" to Debussy's "Clair de Lune." Psychedelic Furs to Enya? Michael W. Smith to Black Sabbath?
Imagine listening to a disc, you've got Michael W. Smith's Agnus Dei going on. It fades out into Black Sabbath's Iron Man or (shiver) Mr. Crowley. I think at that point I might consider burning my Discman....
...how about Reproduction (from Grease 2), and 1812 Overture (Tchaikovsky), then maybe Fish Heads (Barnes & Barnes), Airegin (Maynard Ferguson), A Mighty Fortress (an old hymn), Skraggy's Tomb (Savatage), and then Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung (Weird Al Yankovic).
I get to the point of following a nice relaxing Mozart concerto with an unhealthy dose of Quiet Riot's Bang your head. Nothing to strange in that (is there?).
Somebody at work mentioned something about Frank Zappa to the Statler Brothers. That could be interesting.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Upside Down and Backwards
Well, I'm back in Siskel and Ebert mode (sorry, Roeper, no jujubees for you!)... Fair warning: I put spoilers in these things, so if you don't want to know, stop reading NOW... Ok... You ready... Ok, here we go...
Over the weekend, I watched an award winning film called SIDEWAYS. Now, I thought it was going to be a comedy about two guys who meet two girls, they drink a bunch of wine, and things happen. Unfortunately, that's exactly what it was. Except for the comedy part.
Our main characters are Miles (played by Paul Giamatti) and Jack (played by Thomas Haden Church). Jack is getting married and Miles, as his best man, is taking him on a week of wine tasting and "last week of freedom" relaxation. The problem is that Jack and Miles have two different ideas of what relaxation entails. Miles wants to taste wine, play some golf... maybe read. Jack wants to get laid. Period. And, if can swing it, get Miles laid as well. Jack feels that Miles needs this sort of relaxation because he's still wound up about his divorce... of two years ago.
This sounds like a set up for a decent (indecent?) comedy. The problem is both Jack and Miles are reprehensible characters. Miles is a passive-aggressive wine snob who steals money from his own mother rather than ask her for it outright. He's caught up in his own personal drama of "Woe is me, I have a failed marriage and I'm on pins and needles to find out if my book is going to be published." (He's an unpublished writer who teaches eighth grade... or an eighth grade teacher who writes unpublished novels, depending on how you look at it...) Jack is an actor, of sorts, who's solution to everything is this: have sex. I know the national statistic for men thinking about sex is something like once every 8 seconds, but Jack tries to HAVE sex once every eight seconds. He's also manipulative and aggressive and obnoxious and plays on his expired 15 minutes in order to get what he wants from strangers. In a word: ick.
So, these two drive up from San Diego to the California wine country. Looking for relaxation... or at least a good bottle of wine. Miles knows this area quite well, and they eat at a restaurant he frequents and are waited on by Maya (played by Virginia Madsen) whom Miles has a crush on but won't admit to himself. Maya is attracted to Miles, a fact Jack picks up on immediately and shoves down Mile's throat with great gusto. Miles tells Jack to back off, but to no avail.
Jack and Miles go on a self-guided wine-tasting tour. At one of the vineyards, they meet Stephanie (played by Sandra Oh). Miles belittles the vineyards goods. Jack hits on Stephanie. Stephanie hits back. Come to find out, Stephanie and Maya are good friends. The four go to dinner. Much wine is consumed. Miles becomes pretty soused and goes off and calls his ex-wife, whom he has just found out is attending Jack's nuptials. Miles makes an ass of himself, as only manically depressed drunks can (on screen at least... I don't know about in real life).
The four go back to Stephanie's house. Jack and Stephanie disappear into another room and soon moans of obvious adult activity begin to emanate. Miles and Maya move to the porch where they continue to discuss wines and how they got into tasting and why, as well as Miles writing. It's pretty obvious that Maya wants to make the same noises Stephanie is making, but is more refined than that. By the time Miles gets the guts to make that kind of move, the moment is way over, and Maya and Miles go their separate ways, but not before Miles give Maya a copy of his manuscript (which comes in two large shoeboxes).
Skip forward. The foursome go out again on a tasting expedition, and this time Maya and Miles "hook up." Things look to be brightening up (to a degree) for our "hero." Until Miles and Maya go on a picnic, and Miles lets slip that he and Jack have to be back to San Diego on Saturday for the dress rehearsal. Insert long record scratch sound here.
Maya is pissed. She's hurt over the secrecy and lies. Miles tries to convice her that he is not like Jack, that he's just Jack's old college roommate. No good.
Miles is back to being very depressed. He figures it can't get any worse and phones up his publisher... who has news... His book will NOT be published, because it can't be marketed. In a fit of pique, he attempts to get drunk in a tasting room, dousing himself with the spitbowl when the server refuses to fill his glass.
Miles and Jack drive back to the motel room, where Stephanie is waiting. Jack approaches her all smiles and charm and promptly gets his ass beat six ways to Christmas by one pissed off woman with a motorcycle helmet. While Jack is getting his face fixed at the ER, Miles calls Maya and apologizes (again) for not being honest with her about his trip's agenda. He also tells her that his novel won't be published, "So I guess I'm not much of a writer. In fact, I'm not much of anything." In this, I can't disagree.
Miles and Jack go to dinner in a western themed restaurant. Jack, who's face is bandaged and looks like he's been through a war, hits on the waitress. Miles, stunned, does nothing. Jack is, after all, nothing if not incorrigible.
We next see Miles startle awake in his room to the pounding of fists on the door. He opens it to let a naked Jack come running in. The waitress, Jack informs, is married and her husband came home early. Miles can do nothing but sit back and laugh. Until Jack breaks down at the remembrance that his wallet is still back at the house... with his wedding rings in it. He cries to Miles that he can't live without Christine, his fiance. Miles buys it and they drive back to the house, where Jack manages yet again, to talk Miles into doing something he doesn't want to do: retrieve Jack's wallet. I won't bother telling you what happens here. Suffice it to say, it's not good, either for Miles or for the viewing audience.
They drive home. Jack convinces Miles to let him drive. Miles reluctantly does so. Jack immediately drives the car into a tree, so that his injury looks less suspicious.
They make it home. Jack gets married. Miles sees his ex and finds out she's pregnant. Miles wants to kill himself. BUT... he gets a call from Maya, who has just finished his novel and she tells him it's good, to not give up. Miles takes this to heart, and we last see him knocking on Maya's door.
Ok, I can understand some of the appeal. Guy overcomes self induced misery, to a point. But did I need to sit through 2 hours of some of the most obnoxious, revolting human attitude to get to it? Is this really what passes for "realistic drama" these days? Because if it is, count me out.
I can whine all on my own about my plot in life's great drama. And often do, much to the regret of my wife and those close personal friends whom I've allowed to share my despair (mostly because they don't own handguns - both for their safety and mine).
I'm disgusted that Jack supposedly represents most males. That is a very sad statement in my mind. I understand wanting to "loosen up" and "have fun," but, I'm sorry, sex is not the be-all end-all solution. Never has been, never will be. In fact, more domestic fights are started because of sex than any other subject. Not money, not personal hygiene, not bad habits. Sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love sex. But I'm not trying to get it anywhere, anyway... that's got to be one of the most selfish concepts known to man. Jack doesn't care who he's hurting or how badly, he just wants his tally wacked. Which shows which head he's thinking with...
Miles is the flipside of this bad penny. He probably DOES need some sex in his life, but for him, he wants it to mean something. He wants it with someone he cares about and who cares about him. This is a lot closer to how I think men ACTUALLY think. It's my blog, my opinion. I'm entitled to my wrong ideas.
Anyway, I thought SIDEWAYS was two hours of depression wrapped in a nice bow and stuffed in a wine (whine?) bottle and tossed out into the sea that is Hollywood.
Feel free to flame me if you disagree. You won't hurt my feelings.
Over the weekend, I watched an award winning film called SIDEWAYS. Now, I thought it was going to be a comedy about two guys who meet two girls, they drink a bunch of wine, and things happen. Unfortunately, that's exactly what it was. Except for the comedy part.
Our main characters are Miles (played by Paul Giamatti) and Jack (played by Thomas Haden Church). Jack is getting married and Miles, as his best man, is taking him on a week of wine tasting and "last week of freedom" relaxation. The problem is that Jack and Miles have two different ideas of what relaxation entails. Miles wants to taste wine, play some golf... maybe read. Jack wants to get laid. Period. And, if can swing it, get Miles laid as well. Jack feels that Miles needs this sort of relaxation because he's still wound up about his divorce... of two years ago.
This sounds like a set up for a decent (indecent?) comedy. The problem is both Jack and Miles are reprehensible characters. Miles is a passive-aggressive wine snob who steals money from his own mother rather than ask her for it outright. He's caught up in his own personal drama of "Woe is me, I have a failed marriage and I'm on pins and needles to find out if my book is going to be published." (He's an unpublished writer who teaches eighth grade... or an eighth grade teacher who writes unpublished novels, depending on how you look at it...) Jack is an actor, of sorts, who's solution to everything is this: have sex. I know the national statistic for men thinking about sex is something like once every 8 seconds, but Jack tries to HAVE sex once every eight seconds. He's also manipulative and aggressive and obnoxious and plays on his expired 15 minutes in order to get what he wants from strangers. In a word: ick.
So, these two drive up from San Diego to the California wine country. Looking for relaxation... or at least a good bottle of wine. Miles knows this area quite well, and they eat at a restaurant he frequents and are waited on by Maya (played by Virginia Madsen) whom Miles has a crush on but won't admit to himself. Maya is attracted to Miles, a fact Jack picks up on immediately and shoves down Mile's throat with great gusto. Miles tells Jack to back off, but to no avail.
Jack and Miles go on a self-guided wine-tasting tour. At one of the vineyards, they meet Stephanie (played by Sandra Oh). Miles belittles the vineyards goods. Jack hits on Stephanie. Stephanie hits back. Come to find out, Stephanie and Maya are good friends. The four go to dinner. Much wine is consumed. Miles becomes pretty soused and goes off and calls his ex-wife, whom he has just found out is attending Jack's nuptials. Miles makes an ass of himself, as only manically depressed drunks can (on screen at least... I don't know about in real life).
The four go back to Stephanie's house. Jack and Stephanie disappear into another room and soon moans of obvious adult activity begin to emanate. Miles and Maya move to the porch where they continue to discuss wines and how they got into tasting and why, as well as Miles writing. It's pretty obvious that Maya wants to make the same noises Stephanie is making, but is more refined than that. By the time Miles gets the guts to make that kind of move, the moment is way over, and Maya and Miles go their separate ways, but not before Miles give Maya a copy of his manuscript (which comes in two large shoeboxes).
Skip forward. The foursome go out again on a tasting expedition, and this time Maya and Miles "hook up." Things look to be brightening up (to a degree) for our "hero." Until Miles and Maya go on a picnic, and Miles lets slip that he and Jack have to be back to San Diego on Saturday for the dress rehearsal. Insert long record scratch sound here.
Maya is pissed. She's hurt over the secrecy and lies. Miles tries to convice her that he is not like Jack, that he's just Jack's old college roommate. No good.
Miles is back to being very depressed. He figures it can't get any worse and phones up his publisher... who has news... His book will NOT be published, because it can't be marketed. In a fit of pique, he attempts to get drunk in a tasting room, dousing himself with the spitbowl when the server refuses to fill his glass.
Miles and Jack drive back to the motel room, where Stephanie is waiting. Jack approaches her all smiles and charm and promptly gets his ass beat six ways to Christmas by one pissed off woman with a motorcycle helmet. While Jack is getting his face fixed at the ER, Miles calls Maya and apologizes (again) for not being honest with her about his trip's agenda. He also tells her that his novel won't be published, "So I guess I'm not much of a writer. In fact, I'm not much of anything." In this, I can't disagree.
Miles and Jack go to dinner in a western themed restaurant. Jack, who's face is bandaged and looks like he's been through a war, hits on the waitress. Miles, stunned, does nothing. Jack is, after all, nothing if not incorrigible.
We next see Miles startle awake in his room to the pounding of fists on the door. He opens it to let a naked Jack come running in. The waitress, Jack informs, is married and her husband came home early. Miles can do nothing but sit back and laugh. Until Jack breaks down at the remembrance that his wallet is still back at the house... with his wedding rings in it. He cries to Miles that he can't live without Christine, his fiance. Miles buys it and they drive back to the house, where Jack manages yet again, to talk Miles into doing something he doesn't want to do: retrieve Jack's wallet. I won't bother telling you what happens here. Suffice it to say, it's not good, either for Miles or for the viewing audience.
They drive home. Jack convinces Miles to let him drive. Miles reluctantly does so. Jack immediately drives the car into a tree, so that his injury looks less suspicious.
They make it home. Jack gets married. Miles sees his ex and finds out she's pregnant. Miles wants to kill himself. BUT... he gets a call from Maya, who has just finished his novel and she tells him it's good, to not give up. Miles takes this to heart, and we last see him knocking on Maya's door.
Ok, I can understand some of the appeal. Guy overcomes self induced misery, to a point. But did I need to sit through 2 hours of some of the most obnoxious, revolting human attitude to get to it? Is this really what passes for "realistic drama" these days? Because if it is, count me out.
I can whine all on my own about my plot in life's great drama. And often do, much to the regret of my wife and those close personal friends whom I've allowed to share my despair (mostly because they don't own handguns - both for their safety and mine).
I'm disgusted that Jack supposedly represents most males. That is a very sad statement in my mind. I understand wanting to "loosen up" and "have fun," but, I'm sorry, sex is not the be-all end-all solution. Never has been, never will be. In fact, more domestic fights are started because of sex than any other subject. Not money, not personal hygiene, not bad habits. Sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love sex. But I'm not trying to get it anywhere, anyway... that's got to be one of the most selfish concepts known to man. Jack doesn't care who he's hurting or how badly, he just wants his tally wacked. Which shows which head he's thinking with...
Miles is the flipside of this bad penny. He probably DOES need some sex in his life, but for him, he wants it to mean something. He wants it with someone he cares about and who cares about him. This is a lot closer to how I think men ACTUALLY think. It's my blog, my opinion. I'm entitled to my wrong ideas.
Anyway, I thought SIDEWAYS was two hours of depression wrapped in a nice bow and stuffed in a wine (whine?) bottle and tossed out into the sea that is Hollywood.
Feel free to flame me if you disagree. You won't hurt my feelings.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Viva la Raza.. ?
I don't like looking at the news these days. Every time I look at a paper or turn on the TV, somebody somewhere is doing something more stupid and more distructive and more hateful than what they did yesterday.
Case in point: This week is "Let's see how many hispanics we can piss off" week. Immigration reform is the watchword on Capital Hill. "Let Us Work!" is the crys of millions in the streets. Of course, they aren't yelling it in English...
Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against hispanics. Nothing at all. They are a beautiful people with beautiful culture (and GREAT food). But here's where I have a problem - why do they have a right to yell that they want to keep their jobs when they didn't come to this country legally?
Again, I don't have anything against hispanics. This is not a race issue for me. This is a legal issue. Or more specifically, a criminal issue.
If you come from south (or north for that matter) of the border, I have this to ask you: how did you get here?
If your answer is that you came across at a checkpoint, filled out paperwork, applied for a visa, got permission, learned the language... then I have no problem with you in the least. You are following your dream and you are doing it legally. Kudos to you for following the rules.
If your answer is that you came across late at night, fjorded a river, and hid out in somebody's basement until "the coast was clear"... you, I have a problem with. Because you are the same people that are screaming bloody murder about equal rights and "save our jobs" and other nonsense. Do you or do you not manage to get federal funds, my tax dollars, in addition to the pay check?
I'm not arguing that those issues aren't important. They are, no doubt. But look at it from MY perspective. I'm a white guy, born in this country. Went to an American high school. Went to an American college (such as it was). I'm straight, married, going on 15 years, with three kids. I am in my fourth major job since I left college and I make less than $35K a year.
I have a pretty good life, admittedly. But it is by no means easy. Now granted, I don't have to worry about government agencies coming by, taking away my job, and sending me away. But you know why? Because I'm an American CITIZEN. By birthright, I have citizenship.
Having said that, I have to point out that becoming a citizen is a time consuming, grueling process. I have known several people who have struggled through the process. And every single one has said it was well worth it because they have a better understanding of this country's history, it's governmental processes, and why this country can maintain the more positive aspects of its reputation. In fact, I think all Americans should have to go through the process, native born or not. But I'll save that rant for later...
Where am I going with this? Only this: why should somebody who crept into this country like a criminal be treated with equal respect as one who did it in the light of day, with nothing to hide?
If this country relies on hispanics doing certain types of jobs, and the only way those jobs can be accomplished is through hispanics coming here illegally, then there is a serious problem. Not with the people coming over, but in the system that forces them down a chute of illegality. "We want you here to work our fields, but we don't want to know about it, because if we do know about it, we'll kick you out."
It's messed up. I'm hoping our leaders can put their heads on straight, put serious matters to the fore, and straighten this mess out. If it means loosening up our immigration laws, then loosen them up, Senator Moneybucks. If it means tightening up our border system, then tighten them up.
I have no solutions. I'm just a guy trying to survive my own day to day. And I'm blathering like the brainless slug I am right now. My apologies for my incoherancies. Feel free to flame me, I'm sure I deserve it. Just know that I'm not a racist. I do care about what's going on. I just think that too much emphasis is put on the supposed "human" factor and not enough on the legal system that's supposed to reign some of this nonsense in.
Ok, having now doused myself in kerosene, I await your comments.
Case in point: This week is "Let's see how many hispanics we can piss off" week. Immigration reform is the watchword on Capital Hill. "Let Us Work!" is the crys of millions in the streets. Of course, they aren't yelling it in English...
Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against hispanics. Nothing at all. They are a beautiful people with beautiful culture (and GREAT food). But here's where I have a problem - why do they have a right to yell that they want to keep their jobs when they didn't come to this country legally?
Again, I don't have anything against hispanics. This is not a race issue for me. This is a legal issue. Or more specifically, a criminal issue.
If you come from south (or north for that matter) of the border, I have this to ask you: how did you get here?
If your answer is that you came across at a checkpoint, filled out paperwork, applied for a visa, got permission, learned the language... then I have no problem with you in the least. You are following your dream and you are doing it legally. Kudos to you for following the rules.
If your answer is that you came across late at night, fjorded a river, and hid out in somebody's basement until "the coast was clear"... you, I have a problem with. Because you are the same people that are screaming bloody murder about equal rights and "save our jobs" and other nonsense. Do you or do you not manage to get federal funds, my tax dollars, in addition to the pay check?
I'm not arguing that those issues aren't important. They are, no doubt. But look at it from MY perspective. I'm a white guy, born in this country. Went to an American high school. Went to an American college (such as it was). I'm straight, married, going on 15 years, with three kids. I am in my fourth major job since I left college and I make less than $35K a year.
I have a pretty good life, admittedly. But it is by no means easy. Now granted, I don't have to worry about government agencies coming by, taking away my job, and sending me away. But you know why? Because I'm an American CITIZEN. By birthright, I have citizenship.
Having said that, I have to point out that becoming a citizen is a time consuming, grueling process. I have known several people who have struggled through the process. And every single one has said it was well worth it because they have a better understanding of this country's history, it's governmental processes, and why this country can maintain the more positive aspects of its reputation. In fact, I think all Americans should have to go through the process, native born or not. But I'll save that rant for later...
Where am I going with this? Only this: why should somebody who crept into this country like a criminal be treated with equal respect as one who did it in the light of day, with nothing to hide?
If this country relies on hispanics doing certain types of jobs, and the only way those jobs can be accomplished is through hispanics coming here illegally, then there is a serious problem. Not with the people coming over, but in the system that forces them down a chute of illegality. "We want you here to work our fields, but we don't want to know about it, because if we do know about it, we'll kick you out."
It's messed up. I'm hoping our leaders can put their heads on straight, put serious matters to the fore, and straighten this mess out. If it means loosening up our immigration laws, then loosen them up, Senator Moneybucks. If it means tightening up our border system, then tighten them up.
I have no solutions. I'm just a guy trying to survive my own day to day. And I'm blathering like the brainless slug I am right now. My apologies for my incoherancies. Feel free to flame me, I'm sure I deserve it. Just know that I'm not a racist. I do care about what's going on. I just think that too much emphasis is put on the supposed "human" factor and not enough on the legal system that's supposed to reign some of this nonsense in.
Ok, having now doused myself in kerosene, I await your comments.
Monday, April 10, 2006
A Return to the Beginning... again...
Wow. Rediscovered this old dusty thing. Amazing...
Way back when (when I first started working this blog), my wife and I got into a bit of a tiff regarding the fine art of blogging. I believe it went something like this:
"ONLY CHILD MOLESTERS AND UNDERAGE PUNKS WITH NOTHING WORTH SAYING DO BLOGS!!!"
"yes dear..."
Thus ended my blogging days, less than a month after they were born.
Until recently...
For some unknown reason, this same woman, whom I love with all my mind, body, soul, and pocketbook, decides that blogging is not so bad after all, and that sexual perversion is no longer a prerequisite. Mostly because she started her own.
Aha!
So, I'm back. Probably won't say much, or often. But HOPEFULLY I'll be a bit consistant.
What I originally wanted for the blog was as a film critique site. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Spagman: Movie Critic! The world awaits with baited breath...
Way back when (when I first started working this blog), my wife and I got into a bit of a tiff regarding the fine art of blogging. I believe it went something like this:
"ONLY CHILD MOLESTERS AND UNDERAGE PUNKS WITH NOTHING WORTH SAYING DO BLOGS!!!"
"yes dear..."
Thus ended my blogging days, less than a month after they were born.
Until recently...
For some unknown reason, this same woman, whom I love with all my mind, body, soul, and pocketbook, decides that blogging is not so bad after all, and that sexual perversion is no longer a prerequisite. Mostly because she started her own.
Aha!
So, I'm back. Probably won't say much, or often. But HOPEFULLY I'll be a bit consistant.
What I originally wanted for the blog was as a film critique site. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Spagman: Movie Critic! The world awaits with baited breath...
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