Have you ever wondered how you could have possibly turned into the person you currently are? Look back at your upbringing, look at your parents and go... WTF?!?!
My parents visited for the weekend. Haven't seen them in awhile, but I always dread them coming (a little). No matter what I've done, what I've accomplished, what I've achieved, it's not what they would have me do. Or more specifically, my mother.
Don't get me wrong, I love my folks. But it's just amazing to me where my life lies, as opposed to where I "should" be, according to my mother's plan.
This time around, its my lack of going to church. Or more specifically, my lack of taking my sons to church. As I've stated before, I'm a Christian. I follow CHRIST. I was raised in a church environment (my father was a Nazarene pastor for 15 years) and so there is a strong moral and ethical code in my background. Unfortunately, there is also a strong religious and dogmatic code in my background as well. My parents fully believe that if I'm not involved with some church that I'm a miserable failure, that they are miserable failures, and that my children are doomed to become the juvenile delinquents that my mother expects them to become.
My mother works in juvenile corrections for the state of Washington. She sees, on a near daily basis (or so she claims), what happens when "good kids fall in with the wrong people." My question is this: what is a "good person?" Who are "wrong people?" Those are relatively simply questions on the big picture. Good people are those folks who obey the laws, respect their elders, are kind to animals, and so forth. Wrong people are those who have poor habits (drug abuse, crime tendencies, weak moral fiber, etc.)
But how can I take her seriously when I've seen, first hand, what CHRISTIANS do in the name of GOD? My own mother will break laws for her own convenience if it isn't hurting anyone (she hasn't met a speed limit yet that she liked - at least if SHE'S behind the wheel of the automobile). She used my computer without so much as a by-your-leave. She lectures me on how I should get my boys into a church youth group, before they "fall in with the wrong crowd."
When I was of an age, the dichotomy at church was WORSE than the one at school. At least at school, if people didn't care to be around you, you would be ignored. The only time I felt like I was "wanted" by anyone in the youth group (with one very important exception), was when we did Bible quizzing or we had some choir activity. I was a good little sheep growing up, and tried my best to follow the golden rule, even if the result was golden showers for me.
I respected my parents and all other "elders" when other kids my age were throwing fits in the front foyer, acting in ways that would have gotten me clocked. I tried to be obedient and helpful and uplifting, when inside I wanted to be rebellious, disorderly, selfish.
My mother informs me that, to this day, there are people that ask how I (and my sister and her family) are doing and that "we always liked your two kids, they were so respectful." Know what, Mom? I didn't learn it in church. Church was were you dragged me to because you had to. You couldn't get a sitter, and it would have looked really bad for the son of a preacher man to stay home because he "didn't like church."
My best friend (other than my wife) remembered and reminded me that when I was younger - 5th, 6th grade - that I didn't like church THEN. I have tried to go to church since leaving the nest. I've gone to four different churches in the last 15 years. Spent significant amounts of my time and energy being involved with these congregations. And THREE of those churches have or had MAJOR trouble while I was there or soon after I left. I'm not saying I jinxed these congregations. But I will say that their problems didn't generally come from Bible issues. They came from personality issues and dogma issues. What color the fridge should be in the kitchen. Whether or not there should be onions in the potato salad at the annual 4th of July picnic. Which direction the pulpit should face. You get the idea.
So when my mother looks me in the face, and with great concern tells me I should get my kids into a church group, in the back of my head I have to ask "Why? It didn't do me any good. In fact, it started me down a road of doubt. Not of my faith in God - that is unwavering. My faith in my fellow
"Christians." If being Christian is to be a "little Christ" (which is what the word is supposed to mean), why do so many Christians hate. Other sects, other religions... KKK - claims to be Christian organization. Nazi's purported to be following God's commands. Nazarenes hate Masons (at least they did when I was a kid) because "they have secret ceremonies" - guess what? Anyone who's ever walked into a communion service, a baptism, or an alter call who's never been exposed to those activities would think they were "secret ceremonies" as well because they are not always expained. Catholics hate Jews (or at least that's what I have seen in the news and what Hollywood shows us) because "they killed Jesus" - guess what? If Jesus hadn't wanted to die, our sins wouldn't have been paid for and we'd ALL be going to Hell! Baptists hate... everybody not Baptist, but specifically Catholics, because "they worship the Pope and the Virgin Mary" - guess what? ANY pastor who's in a pulpit for longer than 5 years has to be re-assessed: is it because he's an effective leader, a successful shepherd, or is he being "worshiped" by his congregation? And as far as the Virgin Mary, we Protestants have a lot to learn about respect and reverance. Mary was honored by Almighty GOD to be the vessel that carried His SON made flesh!!! If that doesn't deserve some respect, then I'd like to know what your priorities are. All this unfounded hated is ridiculous, nay STUPID, and it is wrong.
God loves all of us. Why can't we love each other?
To all you "religious" folk out there, ask yourself this: if Jesus were here today, who would he be having dinner with?
a) you
b) your pastor
c) the Pope
d) a drug addicted single-mom, working as a prostitute to feed here kids
My answer is "d" because Jesus mission was to spread love, not condemnation. Who else needs more love than option d?
I love God. I love Jesus. But I'm really disappointed with his followers. And that includes my parents.
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